Some people believe that the Olympics Games do not have a role in the 21st Century. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
olympic
Change the capitalization
Olympic
show examples
games
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
known to bring
athletes
Use synonyms
around the
workd
Correct your spelling
world
and
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
become a tradition for countries to participate in. Some
people
Use synonyms
are of the opinion that these
games
Use synonyms
are now irrelevant in the modern day.
However
Linking Words
, I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
statement.
This
Linking Words
well-known event
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has been held every four years for quite some time now and
this
Linking Words
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
countries to showcase their most talented
athletes
Use synonyms
from different areas of sports. Doing
this
Linking Words
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
the
athletes
Use synonyms
the opportunity to represent their home countries and would give them a sense of pride that they are able to do so. Another benefit that
athletes
Use synonyms
could gain from
this
Linking Words
is they are able to meet and interact with the
athletes
Use synonyms
coming from different parts of the world
thus
Linking Words
promoting cultural growth.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
olympic
Change the capitalization
Olympic
show examples
games
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
one way to boost the tourism of the hosting
country
Use synonyms
. It is known that the
olympics
Change the capitalization
Olympics
show examples
is held in a different
country
Use synonyms
every four years and by doing
this
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
from all over the world travel
going
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to the said
country
Use synonyms
to support their delegates. It is beneficial for both the
country
Use synonyms
and
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
people
Use synonyms
since tourism is a big contributor to a
country
Use synonyms
's economy. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
many
people
Use synonyms
view the
Change the capitalization
Olympic
show examples
olympic
Change the capitalization
Olympic
show examples
games
Use synonyms
as not important in today's era, I believe that
this
Linking Words
event brings many
Correct your spelling
opportunities
opportunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
and benefits to everyone.
Submitted by joycegacho on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure to have a clear thesis statement in the introduction to immediately present your stance to the reader.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points, enriching your arguments and engaging the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve flow and coherence throughout your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using paragraphs to clearly separate your points, making your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
You have presented a clear argument disagreeing with the statement, which is excellent for task response.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay includes a logical structure, with a noticeable introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
You have effectively used examples to support your main points, demonstrating good task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: