Some people believe that the Olympics Games do not have a role in the 21st Century. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #olympics #games #role #st #century

The

olympic

Change the capitalization

Olympic

show examples

games

Change the verb form

are

show examples

known to bring

athletes

around the

workd

Correct your spelling

world

and

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

become a tradition for countries to participate in. Some

people

are of the opinion that these

games

are now irrelevant in the modern day.

However

, I strongly disagree with

this

statement.

This

well-known event

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

has been held every four years for quite some time now and

this

allow

Correct subject-verb agreement

allows

show examples

countries to showcase their most talented

athletes

from different areas of sports. Doing

this

give

Change the verb form

gives

show examples

the

athletes

the opportunity to represent their home countries and would give them a sense of pride that they are able to do so. Another benefit that

athletes

could gain from

this

is they are able to meet and interact with the

athletes

coming from different parts of the world

thus

promoting cultural growth.

Furthermore

, the

olympic

Change the capitalization

Olympic

show examples

games

Change the verb form

are

show examples

one way to boost the tourism of the hosting

country

. It is known that the

olympics

Change the capitalization

Olympics

show examples

is held in a different

country

every four years and by doing

this

people

from all over the world travel

going

Verb problem

apply

show examples

to the said

country

to support their delegates. It is beneficial for both the

country

and

it's

Correct your spelling

its

show examples

people

since tourism is a big contributor to a

country

's economy. In conclusion,

while

many

people

view the

Change the capitalization

Olympic

show examples

olympic

Change the capitalization

Olympic

show examples

games

as not important in today's era, I believe that

this

event brings many

Correct your spelling

opportunities

opportunites

Correct your spelling

opportunities

and benefits to everyone.

Submitted by joycegacho on Fri Apr 26 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure to have a clear thesis statement in the introduction to immediately present your stance to the reader.

task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples to support your points, enriching your arguments and engaging the reader.

coherence and cohesion

Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve flow and coherence throughout your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Consider using paragraphs to clearly separate your points, making your essay easier to follow.

task achievement

You have presented a clear argument disagreeing with the statement, which is excellent for task response.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay includes a logical structure, with a noticeable introduction, body, and conclusion.

task achievement

You have effectively used examples to support your main points, demonstrating good task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

228 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world, others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both this views and give your own opinion
There are two different points of view about scientific achievements. First group emphasizes the free publication of information for everyone. On the other hand, second group thinks that we don’t have to make some critical data available. The former sight follows an open-source policy which is closer to my perspective and the latter one has a more cautious policy.
5
band
Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some I formation is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
The importance of information has been increasing in recent years in terms of expanding people's overall knowledge and horizons. While some people believe that data should be shared by experts as much as possible, the others argue that this process mey result in some unexpected situations in case crimals are able to access to essential information. This essay will explain the both sides, and highlight the importance of restricted sharing.
6.5
band
People cart eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
There has been an increase of imported foods around the world, and many people prefer them than local grown foods. I think that the advantages are outweighed by the disadvantages.
4.5
band
More and more couples are deciding to be "child-free", to have no children, in other words. Some people claim that those couples reach this conclusion through entirely selfish reasons. While others think that they came to this decision through noble motives, such as concern about overpopulation and desire for independence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There are an ever-increasing number of couples who decide to have no children or become “child-free”. Some people argue that this issue is coming from the egoistic reason of those couples. While, the rest think the honorable motives are becoming their fundamental reasons to reach that decision, such as concern about overpopulation and eagerness for independence. In my opinion, sometimes couples have to consider that having children becomes an important thing, however they have their own choice whether to have a child or not.
6.5
band
One of the best methods to motivate and encourage workers is to pay them according to what they produce or sell. Do you think that this is the best method? Give relevant examples from your experiences.
Recently, the economist suggests that in order to invigorate the worker to work efficiently is to give the salary according to their production and sales level. In return, it will help to incur the development of the economy further. However, in my view, this suggestion may not be suitable for certain types of jobs.

Some people believe that the Olympics Games do not have a role in the 21st Century. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world, others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both this views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some I formation is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

People cart eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

One of the best methods to motivate and encourage workers is to pay them according to what they produce or sell. Do you think that this is the best method? Give relevant examples from your experiences.