Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give the reasons and relative examples upon your own experiences.

Nowadays education is the essential thing for improving the
society
. Some citizens believe that
parents
should teach children how to be a good part of the community .
While
, others, think
this
can not be the duty of
parents
and
school
is the
place
to learn
this
. The principal reason that the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
childs
Change to a genitive case
child's
show examples
home should be the primary
place
for learning the essential
principals
Correct your spelling
principles
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
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being a good member of
society
. As a reason for that the basic part of
kids
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kids'
kid's
show examples
life is the relationship between them and their
parents
and the friendly atmosphere in their families that might encourage them more than the educational places. So, the
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
main task is how to teach
thier
Correct your spelling
their
children those values that assist them to be an excellent person in
society
. Many psychological researchers say that the best phase of the childhood cycle to implant important values and beliefs is the age between 3-7 (primary
school
age) .
Cosequently
Correct your spelling
Consequently
, after that
stage
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stage,
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they only can modify those values and thoughts.
On the other hand
,
school
is the second
place
to learn of the value of these moral characteristics that can not be achieved just at home . When the child enters a wider community
such
as
,
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apply
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a
school
that
consist
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consists
show examples
of teachers and peers . They will learn how to deal with each other even if they are from
varios
Correct your spelling
various
backgrounds.
Also
, learn how to cooperate with each other and
finally
gain social competencies. In conclusion, I believe that being a valuable member of
society
is not
that
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apply
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like simple skills but
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a childs
show examples
childs
Change to a genitive case
child's
show examples
home should be the primary
place
for learning essential
principals
Correct your spelling
principles
show examples
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
school
will ensure that kids understand and are aware of the importance of those standards.
Submitted by israa.lolo99 on

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Grammar
Pay attention to repetitive grammatical errors that can hinder the clarity of your arguments. Regular practice and review can help improve accuracy.
Sentence Variation
Consider varying your sentence structures for a more sophisticated writing style. Use complex sentences and a mix of sentence lengths to enhance readability.
Punctuation
Review punctuation rules, particularly the use of commas, to ensure sentences are correctly structured and clear.
Content
Your essay effectively discusses both viewpoints on where children should learn societal morals, providing a balanced and comprehensive examination.
Structure
You've demonstrated a strong capability to construct a logical argument, with each paragraph clearly supporting your thesis.
Supporting Evidence
The use of specific examples and reasoning to support your views enhances the persuasiveness of your essay.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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