Some people think that cars are the best way to travel in a city,while others think that bicyles are better. Discuss both points if view and give your opinion.

It is considered by some that transportation within a
city
is easiest by motorcars which is mainly because It can
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
time
,
while
others, who are more
health
conscious,
thought
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
that
bicycles
are a better option. We can't say which is a better option because it depends on the person's preference.
Firstly
,
people
use
cars
for transport as much of their valuable
time
will be saved. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
are always in a hurry to do something, either to get to work in
time
or
opening
Change the verb form
to open
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
shop at the exact
time
. So, they don't want to spend their
time
on the road. As
cars
are one of the fastest
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
of transport, they become more popular these days.
For instance
, we can see all kinds of
cars
, like private
cars
or
taxi
Fix the agreement mistake
taxis
show examples
or buses, more and more on the busy roads of Kathmandu, which is the capital
city
of Nepal.
On the other hand
, some
people
think that using
two wheelers
Add a hyphen
two-wheelers
show examples
with peddles can bring more
health
benefits. Riding
bicycles
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
is
also
a kind of exercise and for those
people
who are as busy as a bee
Correct word choice
and couldn't
show examples
couldn't
Wrong verb form
can't
show examples
give
time
for
health
or a gym session, going to and from
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
with it is beneficial for them. To illustrate, riding
bicycles
for work these days is becoming more popular in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
than ever before. In conclusion, even
there
Correct word choice
though there
show examples
are many
health
benefits of riding
bicycles
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
for our
health
, I think using
cars
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
one of the best
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
transportation in the
city
as
this
can give us more extra
time
to do some other
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. And the number of
cars
, on the road
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
city
,
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
increasing day by day.
Submitted by nmpppp4444 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Try to provide a clear introduction that outlines both viewpoints and your own stance, which could make your position more explicit from the beginning.
Coherence
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs for better coherence.
Support
Give more specific examples to support each viewpoint to strengthen your argument. Real-world examples make your response more persuasive.
Balance
Consider expanding your essay with a balanced discussion on both viewpoints before reaching a conclusion. This gives your argument more depth.
Conclusion
Enhance your conclusion by summarizing the main points discussed and reaffirming your stance clearly. This strengthens the overall argument.
Content
You successfully presented two contrasting viewpoints on the topic of transportation within a city.
Examples
You included specific examples, like the busy roads of Kathmandu and the increasing popularity of bicycle riding in the UK, which adds relevance to your points.
Opinion
Your essay concludes with a clear statement of your opinion, showing good task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: