Many people believe that it is the responsibility of first world nations to help other countries. Others, however, feel that these countries have their own problems and should help themselves first. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people opine that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
first world
Add a hyphen
first-world
show examples
nations
Use synonyms
are responsible for providing their assistance to other less developed
countries
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
there are some individuals who opine in another way in more detail they believe that these
countries
Use synonyms
have their own responsibilities and habitats with needs that
shouldnt
Correct your spelling
shouldn't
be left without attention. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will try to discuss both views and express my own opinion.
Its
Replace the word
It's
It is
show examples
undeniable that there are always some
countries
Use synonyms
with much better conditions for life
in contrast
Linking Words
with other less improved ones. Some
countries
Use synonyms
may prioritize education
while
Linking Words
others may have higher salaries for certain jobs, but sadly enough there are plenty of
countries
Use synonyms
that are way behind in terms of infrastructure,
healthcare
Use synonyms
, and
overall
Linking Words
quality of life. It is important to recognize the disparities between developed and developing
countries
Use synonyms
in order to address the needs of those who are less fortunate and promote equality.
For example
Linking Words
,
countries
Use synonyms
like Norway and Switzerland are often ranked as having high standards of living
due to
Linking Words
their excellent
healthcare
Use synonyms
systems and strong economies.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
countries
Use synonyms
in Africa face challenges
such
Linking Words
as limited
access
Use synonyms
to clean water and
healthcare
Use synonyms
services leading to higher rates of poverty and disease. It is crucial for the global community to work together to bridge the gap between developed and developing
nations
Use synonyms
, ensuring that everyone has
access
Use synonyms
to basic necessities for a better quality of life.
However
Linking Words
, it is worth noting that not all developed
countries
Use synonyms
prioritize the needs of their less fortunate citizens.
For example
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
the United States has a high
overall
Linking Words
quality of living, there are differences in the population's
access
Use synonyms
to basic needs
due to
Linking Words
the country's large income imbalance and lack of
healthcare
Use synonyms
for all. In order to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inequality, wealthy
countries
Use synonyms
must address inequalities inside their own borders
in addition
Linking Words
to helping poor
nations
Use synonyms
improve
access
Use synonyms
to
healthcare
Use synonyms
. Efforts to advance global health equality fall apart when underprivileged
people'
Change noun form
people's
show examples
needs inside their own
nations
Use synonyms
are ignored. Developed
countries
Use synonyms
can provide a powerful example for other
countries
Use synonyms
to follow by concentrating on improving
healthcare
Use synonyms
and lowering economic inequality within their own borders.
This
Linking Words
not only promotes global health equality but
also
Linking Words
promotes
a
Change the article
an
show examples
equal
communityfor
Correct your spelling
community for
all citizens.
Submitted by madinabonu.bm on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Try to ensure a balanced discussion of both views before stating your own opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use clearer and more varied transitional phrases to enhance the flow between ideas.
Task Achievement
Introduce specific examples to support your points more effectively.
Task Achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good grasp of the global disparity issue and how developed countries can act.
Task Achievement
You made an effort to discuss both views, which is crucial for this type of essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
The structure of your essay is generally logical and easy to follow, making your arguments clear.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral obligation
  • economic stability
  • overcoming poverty
  • improving education
  • health crises
  • global interconnectedness
  • worldwide stability and prosperity
  • homelessness
  • unemployment
  • inequality
  • external assistance
  • dependency
  • self-reliance
  • collaborative approach
  • ethical responsibility
  • global welfare
  • domestic obligations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: