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Band 4.5

Economic progress is often used to measure a country’s success. However, some people believe that other factors are more important. What other factors should also be considered when measuring a country’s success? Do you think one factor is more important than others?

#progress #measure #country’s #success #people #factors #factor
Throughout discussing
about
Remove the preposition
apply
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the development rate of a
country
, people often mention
about
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apply
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the affection of the economic system
on
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in
show examples
this
 area. On one side, I think it is crucial to
adress econonomic
Correct your spelling
address economic
 health as
a
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apply
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key data in a region, to differentiate a nation as a developing or developed one.
On the other hand
, a successful government needs a
balancing
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balance
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 from all factors like the happiness
index
, the medical quality or citizen qualifications as well. There
are
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is
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 no specific data from a
country
 that can overpass the other figures.
While
economy
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the economy
show examples
 is indeed to access a more abundant, wealthy nation, citizens
also
 need other elements to support
for
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apply
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the
multifacade
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multifaceted
 of their life.
Elderly
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The elderly
show examples
needs
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need
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 more medical treatments and hospital services with higher technology and lower costs with
the
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apply
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insurance support,
whereas
 the
youngers
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younger
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 need the educational ministry to invest more
the
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in the
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 facilities
from
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of
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 their schools. The other factor
should
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that should
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 be mentioned is the happiness
index
 . If
ecomic
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economic
 progress plays a
pivortal
Correct your spelling
pivotal
 role as a material foundation,
then
happiness
Correct article usage
the happiness
show examples
index
 can support as a mental guru, developing native people with a better life quality. It is
also
 more relevant
with
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to
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 the health,
as well as
 the
satisfication
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
 of citizens in a
country
. By
contented
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content
show examples
 with the mindfulness inside,
ones
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one
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 can
be find
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find
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 out their own mission,
as well as
 devoting to the success of their
country
. From my perspective,
while
 considering
economic
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economics
show examples
 can show a crucial
index
 to qualify a
country
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country's
show examples
 developing rate, it is undeniable to take care of those other data measurements.
Although
 all activities that help to structure a
country
 need money to operate, the other figures need to
considered
Add a missing verb
be considered
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 to achieve the harmonization that can structure
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 prime of a nation.
Submitted by hoagloc on

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Structure
Consider using a clear introduction, body, and conclusion structure to enhance readability.
Organization
Try to use paragraphs effectively to organize ideas clearly and logically.
Evidence
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, enhancing the depth and clarity of your discussion.
Accuracy
Be cautious of spelling and grammatical errors to maintain the flow and professionalism of your essay.
Content
You've included a range of relevant factors to consider alongside economic progress, such as happiness index and health care quality, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
Analysis
The acknowledgement of the complexity and multifaceted nature of a country's success demonstrates analytical thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gross Domestic Product (GDP)
  • Human Development Index (HDI)
  • Sustainable Development
  • Income Inequality
  • Technological Advancement
  • Global Influence
  • Diplomatic Relations
  • Public Health Initiatives
  • Educational Attainment
  • Cultural Heritage
  • National Security
  • Social Cohesion
What to do next:
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