In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, the
issue
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of overweight and unhealthy
children
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has emerged as a matter of significant concern to the general public.
While
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some individuals maintain that the authorities are responsible for
this
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problem, I contend that
families
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must
also
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be responsible for solving the problem.
This
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essay aims to provide a comprehensive analysis of these differing viewpoints. On the one hand, it is imperative to recognise that the responsibility for overweight and unhealthy
children
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rests with politicians; individuals should appreciate the substantial benefits of
this
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. A perspective point to consider is that political education and awareness raising of
children
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's health for people emphasises that the government conveys basic knowledge about how to prevent
this
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issue
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in
children
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,
such
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as through television channels.
Moreover
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, an additional crucial aspect to highlight is that the government enact laws,
such
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as banning unhealthy food advertisements and enhancing the quality of healthy food.
This
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stems from the understanding that schools provide healthy menus and develop physical education.
For example
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, one can observe that
children
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will gradually develop healthy eating habits and exercise regularly.
On the other hand
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, it is crucial to consider the opposing viewpoint that
families
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must
also
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be responsible for overweight and unhealthy kids. A significant factor to explore is that
families
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create a healthy home environment, which underscores that parents encourage nutritious eating habits and regular physical activity. To illustrate
this
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perspective, one might refer to
families
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setting routines,
such
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as limiting screen time, ensuring adequate sleep, and preparing balanced meals.
Furthermore
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, it is essential to highlight that parents should be positive role models and work with schools and the community.
This
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assertion is supported by the fact that when parents eat healthy foods, exercise regularly, and maintain a balanced lifestyle,
children
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are more likely to do the same. In conclusion, an analysis of the differing perspectives on overweight and unhealthy
children
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highlights the responsibility of politicians for
this
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issue
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;
families
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are
also
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responsible for
this
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problem. Ultimately,
it is clear that
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the government helps people understand
this
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issue
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, improves the quality of healthy menus and physical activity for
children
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, and that
families
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are good examples for
children
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to follow, creating healthy lifestyles for them.
Overall
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,
although
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governments have an important role to play in tackling childhood obesity and unhealthy lifestyles, I firmly believe that
families
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have a greater responsibility.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each main point is clearly separated in the paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on just one idea.
task achievement
Strengthen your examples with more details. Instead of just stating what families should do, explain how this impacts children’s health.
task achievement
Try to make your thesis statement clearer in the introduction. State your position more strongly.
task achievement
You clearly present both sides of the argument, which shows good understanding.
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points, linking back to the introduction, which is good for coherence and cohesion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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