Nowadays, technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, some people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, it is readily apparent that
technology
plays a vital role in human life and society. This
development has been used to monitor the activity that people
do in a day through many devices. In my opinion, the
Correct article usage
apply
technology
gives various positive consequences rather than drawbacks, which will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
When people
are not aware of them being tracked or monitored, it is certainly the cause of many negative consequences. However
, education is the key to solving the problem. By educating
individuals about tracking and monitoring, helps promote awareness and empower individuals to protect their privacy. It is important for Change preposition
Educating
people
to learn and be more careful in what they act or speak both in private and public.
On the other hand
, it is obvious that there are numerous advantages for the monitor technology
. For security purposes, these tools not only help police officers in the investigation in the track of criminals, but they also
deter the rate of crime that could happen. This
can ensure the safety of people
in society. Additionally
, tracking technology
that provides the location of individuals through cell phones help
the healthcare service reach out to Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
people
more easily, when they accidentally face a health-related problem.
To sum up
, technology
is increasingly benefiting humans and society. It can improve the standard of living to be safer and peaceful. While
I believe the advantages of this
advancement outweigh the disadvantages, people
should be careful and mindful of using it, as it has the potential to impact their lives.Submitted by nnatthinee on
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task response
Make sure to provide more detailed examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
task response
Try to develop your paragraphs further with more detailed arguments and evidence.
coherence cohesion
Work on making your transitions between paragraphs smoother for better cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Consider revising your introduction and conclusion to make them more impactful and to better bookend your essay.
task response
You've taken a clear stance and developed your essay around that perspective, demonstrating a good understanding of the task requirement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay structure is logical and easy to follow, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You’ve effectively used a mixture of complex and simple sentences, contributing positively to the readability of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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