Some people think children should be taught competative in order to succed in life while others believe coorperative and teamwork are more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many
people
think kids must
be learn
Change the verb form
learn
show examples
competition
in order to
succed
Correct your spelling
succeed
in life
also
this
completion extremely important for many children.
However
, I think that a sense of
cooperation
is more important than
competition
as it helps a child become a better person in the future. I believe
give learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
various benefits
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
others and
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
good idea. Nowadays, many young
people
be
competative
Correct your spelling
competitive
for
study
and
also
children compete very important in order to
successful
Add a missing verb
be successful
show examples
in life.
Besides
that, they always
study
and
development
Replace the word
develop
show examples
also
many countries should be
competition
Replace the word
competitive
show examples
. I think
competition
does not choose age. In my opinion, it is satisfying to work and
study
with others.
For example
, my coursemates always
competitor
Replace the word
competed
show examples
with one another
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
my friend
shahrizoda
Change the capitalization
Shahrizoda
show examples
. I think she is extremely
competitor
Replace the word
competitive
show examples
various
Change preposition
in various
show examples
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
. I believe
to
Change preposition
that
show examples
kids give
competition
different benefits and
also
I always
want
Add the particle
want to
show examples
be
competitor
Add an article
a competitor
show examples
.
Furthermore
, many
people
believe
cooperative
Replace the word
cooperation
show examples
and
teamwork
are more important because
teamwork
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
and motivation to some young humans and
also
they opine that
cooperation
is more powerful than
competition
Add an article
the competition
show examples
for an individual to become
successful
Add an article
a successful
show examples
person in the near future.
Moreover
, if many
people
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
study
and work with others they share
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
or
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
with colleagues. I think
cooperation
extremely
Add a missing verb
is extremely
show examples
good for many humans.
For instance
, I always
study
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teamwork
because
this
method
very
Add a missing verb
is very
show examples
suberp
Correct your spelling
superb
for me and
also
my uncle
learn
Fix the infinitive
to learn
show examples
and work at
cooperation
. In conclusion,
this
method
extremely
Add a missing verb
is extremely
show examples
good for me and
also
competition
and
teamwork
give benefits for many humans. I use competitive and
coorperative
Correct your spelling
cooperative
.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure
Enhance the clarity of your arguments by organizing your ideas more logically. Use clear paragraphs for each view and your own opinion.
introduction conclusion present
Introduce and conclude your essay more clearly. Make sure the introduction presents the topic and your opinion, while the conclusion summarizes your arguments.
supported main points
Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. This will make your arguments more convincing.
complete response
Ensure that you fully address the task by discussing both views thoroughly before giving your own opinion. This will make your response more complete.
clear comprehensive ideas
Improve the clarity and comprehensibility of your ideas by using simpler and more precise language.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make your essay more engaging.
Task Achievement
You have attempted to discuss both sides of the argument, which is good.
Task Achievement
Your willingness to express your own opinion is commendable.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: