Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?
In contemporary society, reliance on
technology
has increased significantly, with concerns about privacy
security being more prominent. Additionally
, there are some controversial topics about how technology
is beneficial or disadvantageous because it provides us with convenience and connection while
raising concerns about data
security and personal privacy
. It seems to me that the advantageous features of cutting-edge technology
exceed its cons.
On the one hand, technology
has been of paramount importance for almost one century. It makes way for convenience and connectivity, allowing us to maintain connection and facilitating human labor
. To be more specific, thanks to advanced Change the spelling
labour
technology
people do their household chores easily, for example
, they can clean the whole house in an hour with a vacuum cleaner, and keep their meals fresh with a fridge. Moreover
, online services are provided by technology
. Online services like ride-sharing apps, food delivery platforms, and streaming services offer on-demand access to transportation, food, and entertainment, saving time and effort.
On the other hand
, the increasing digitization of personal information has raised concerns about data
security and privacy
breaches. Data
breaches and cyberattacks can result in the unauthorized access or theft of sensitive personal information, leading to identity theft or financial fraud. Furthermore
, companies often collect vast amounts of data
on users' online activities, preferences, and behaviors
for targeted advertising and marketing purposes. Change the spelling
behaviours
This
practice can infringe on individuals' privacy
and autonomy, as their personal data
is used without their explicit consent.
To summarize, I believe that technology
is more beneficial than people think, on the ground that it creates an easier and easier life for us, even if it can have some negative consequences. Hence
, the advantageous aspects of technology
outweigh obviously the disadvantageous.Submitted by quluzadenurlan107 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
You've shown a good level of understanding, but the essay topic was about environmental damage, not technology. It's vital to address the prompt directly to improve task response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear logical structure and good use of cohesive devices, which helps in presenting your ideas systematically.
coherence cohesion
Try to include a clear introduction and conclusion that reflect the main topic and summarize your viewpoint effectively.
task achievement
Using more specific examples related to the topic can enhance the relevance and depth of your essay, strengthening your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear logical structure and good use of cohesive devices, which aids in presenting your ideas systematically.
task achievement
You've effectively articulated the advantages and disadvantages of technology, showing a substantial understanding of this complex subject.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.