Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

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In contemporary society, reliance on
technology
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has increased significantly, with concerns about
privacy
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security being more prominent.
Additionally
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, there are some controversial topics about how
technology
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is beneficial or disadvantageous because it provides us with convenience and connection
while
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raising concerns about
data
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security and personal
privacy
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. It seems to me that the advantageous features of cutting-edge
technology
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exceed its cons. On the one hand,
technology
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has been of paramount importance for almost one century. It makes way for convenience and connectivity, allowing us to maintain connection and facilitating human
labor
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labour
show examples
. To be more specific, thanks to advanced
technology
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people do their household chores easily,
for example
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, they can clean the whole house in an hour with a vacuum cleaner, and keep their meals fresh with a fridge.
Moreover
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, online services are provided by
technology
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. Online services like ride-sharing apps, food delivery platforms, and streaming services offer on-demand access to transportation, food, and entertainment, saving time and effort.
On the other hand
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, the increasing digitization of personal information has raised concerns about
data
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security and
privacy
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breaches.
Data
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breaches and cyberattacks can result in the unauthorized access or theft of sensitive personal information, leading to identity theft or financial fraud.
Furthermore
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, companies often collect vast amounts of
data
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on users' online activities, preferences, and
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
for targeted advertising and marketing purposes.
This
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practice can infringe on individuals'
privacy
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and autonomy, as their personal
data
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is used without their explicit consent. To summarize, I believe that
technology
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is more beneficial than people think, on the ground that it creates an easier and easier life for us, even if it can have some negative consequences.
Hence
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, the advantageous aspects of
technology
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outweigh obviously the disadvantageous.
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task response
You've shown a good level of understanding, but the essay topic was about environmental damage, not technology. It's vital to address the prompt directly to improve task response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear logical structure and good use of cohesive devices, which helps in presenting your ideas systematically.
coherence cohesion
Try to include a clear introduction and conclusion that reflect the main topic and summarize your viewpoint effectively.
task achievement
Using more specific examples related to the topic can enhance the relevance and depth of your essay, strengthening your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear logical structure and good use of cohesive devices, which aids in presenting your ideas systematically.
task achievement
You've effectively articulated the advantages and disadvantages of technology, showing a substantial understanding of this complex subject.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrialization
  • habitat destruction
  • urbanization
  • overpopulation
  • overexploitation
  • deforestation
  • biodiversity
  • waste management
  • fossil fuels
  • air pollution
  • climate change
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable agriculture
  • recycling systems
  • international cooperation
  • conservation
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