Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Other say it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views.
Computer
games
were developed many decades ago, and people of all ages are interested in different software. Certain societies believe playing them has drawbacks for youngsters regarding well-being and social life skills. However
, some people say it will benefit kids in the future. This
essay will discuss both views, and children need to be monitored by their parents while
playing it.
To begin
with, one of the reasons is that playing games
too much can cause a lack of physical activity for the young community. Instead
of going outside or doing some sports, they tend to spend hours sitting on the couch and eating snacks while
playing it, not just becoming addicted to this
activity but also
promoting a sedentary life. Consequently
, some of them might have trouble with their body, such
as eyesight problems or obesity. Furthermore
, regarding social skills, this
kind of activity also
has an unfavourable effect. For example
, children who never spend time with their peers in real life become introverts and have communication issues. It might have a disadvantageous impact on their future, especially in studying and finding a job.
Despite the adverse effects, certain games
can boost memory, enhance creativity, and create cognitive flexibility for the little ones. One is drawing games
, which help them recognize shapes, colours, or patterns and strengthen their memory and creativity skills. Moreover
, another puzzle game exposes kids to different problem-solving strategies, encouraging them to think flexibly and adapt their approach when faced with new challenges.
In conclusion, sitting on a device for hours on end is definitely not a healthy way to spend leisure time. However
, with supervision, children who play computer games
wisely have beneficial impacts that will help them in their adult lives.Submitted by aquariusgirl17 on
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task achievement
To enhance your essay, consider providing more specific examples and evidence for your arguments. Using concrete examples can make your points more persuasive and engaging.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, use a wider range of linking phrases and transitions. This will make your essay flow more smoothly and make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
language
Consider varying your sentence structures more to add complexity and interest to your writing. Using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can make your essay more engaging and showcase your language skills.
task achievement
You've done a good job discussing both views thoroughly, which addresses the task well.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and present, effectively framing your essay.
coherence cohesion
You've supported your main points with relevant arguments, showing good development of ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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