IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the environment, others maintain that the major profit is the development of world business. Discuss the both views and give your own opinion.

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With globalization nowadays,
cooperation
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 between
differnent
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different
nations
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have
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has
show examples
 surged significantly.
While
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 both
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
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 and
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environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 have improved a lot
due to
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 different
nations
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 working together, I personally believe the latter
one
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apply
show examples
could be more beneficial. On one hand, globalization promotes trading
around
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apply
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worldwide. With transportation advancement, more
countries
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 can exchange their resources. And, they allow to produce product
in
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at
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 lower costs.
For example
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, there are many
counties
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countries
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 set up factories in Xin Jiang because it has tremendous cotton for clothing. It benefits
to
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apply
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both Xin Jiang and
foriegn
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foreign
countries
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. For Xin Jiang, it receives investment from different
nations
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 and
provide
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provides
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 more job opportunities for citizens. For
foriegn
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foreign
countries
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, they can produce
product
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products
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in
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at
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 lower costs
due to
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 lower labour
cost
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costs
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 and lower rent.
Therefore
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, international
cooperation
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 brings beneficial effects to different stakeholders.
On the other hand
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, International guidelines
are
Verb problem
make it
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 easy to control
emission
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emissions
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 in different
nations
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. With
increasing
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the increasing
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 population, the emission of
green house
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greenhouse
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 gases surged.
However
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, international
cooperation
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 can greatly alleviate
this
Linking Words
 situation.
For instance
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, there are a lot of
countries
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signed
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that signed
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Paris
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the Paris
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 Agreement. The members
in
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of
show examples
 UNION
are requires
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are required
show examples
 to lower their
emission
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emissions
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 to
certain
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a certain
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 level, which is a great guideline to suppress a large amount of pollutants being released.
Therefore
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,
cooperation
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 between
nations
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 to prevent climate change is important. Protecting the
environment
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need
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needs
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supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
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 from different
nations
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, unlike
improvement
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the improvement
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 of world business
require
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requires
show examples
few
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a few
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of
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apply
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stakeholders. Personally, I believe the major benefit of international
cooperation
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appear
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appears
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on
Change preposition
in
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 the protection of the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
. In conclusion, globalization induces the improvement of finance and
protection
Correct article usage
the protection
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 of the
environment
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. It
seem
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seems
show examples
 to me that the
environment
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 has
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 beneficial effect.

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Grammar and Sentence Structure
Ensure clarity in expressing your ideas by avoiding grammatical errors and enhancing sentence structure for better readability.
Detail and Analysis
Consider expanding on your examples by detailing how these examples specifically support your argument, offering a more in-depth analysis.
Tone and Style
Maintain a more formal tone throughout your essay by choosing words and sentence structures that reflect academic writing standards.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, outlining the main viewpoints and indicating your own stance.
Balance in Discussion
You have provided a balanced discussion by addressing both views before stating your own opinion, which is a good strategy for this type of essay task.
Use of Examples
Use of specific examples, such as the Xin Jiang factory and the Paris Agreement, strengthens your argument and provides concrete evidence to support your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • international cooperation
  • environmental policies
  • green technologies
  • combating climate change
  • global trade
  • foreign investments
  • international standards
  • regulations
  • global sustainability
  • mutually beneficial
  • long term well-being
  • complexity
  • balanced approach
What to do next:
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