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Band 5.5

In the future all cars, buses amd trucks will be driveless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driveless vehicles outweigh the disadvantage?

#future #cars #buses #amd #trucks #driveless #people #vehicles #passengers
Whether the usage of driverless vehicles will become more
prevelent
Correct your spelling
prevalent
 in the
up coming
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upcoming
show examples
 years or not is a crucial subject of public concern and debate.
Although
this
 type of
cars
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car
show examples
 might influence the career of people with driving-related
job
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jobs
show examples
 since it will function without the presence of
driver
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a driver
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, I will argue that they have a number of welcoming aspects with regard to our lifestyles. There is a widely held view among individuals that self-driving means of vehicle might be dysfunctional
manufactures
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manufacturers
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 owing to diverse grounds. To clarify, increasing the number of accidents,
this
 device
assumed
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is assumed
show examples
 to be a disaster-maker factor in
the
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apply
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modern cities. Having no intelligent driver
such
 as humankind is the reason why people can not trust
the
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apply
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new development.
In addition
,
job-insecurity
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job insecurity
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 might be another justification for the ones who have earned a living in the profession regarding
this
 issue. The new invention,
on the other hand
, will facilitate
human's
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human
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 daily routines with a myriad of advantages for folks,
environment
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the environment
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, and society, to name but a few. First and foremost, the
life
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lives
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 of human
being
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beings
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 significantly
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
change
due to
 less use of
time
 and money.
For instance
, there will be no need
of passing
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to pass
show examples
 and enrolling driving courses and
paying
Wrong verb form
pay
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 for
cost
Add an article
the cost
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 of
maintanance
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maintenance
as well as
less
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fewer
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accidential
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accidental
 mistakes.
Likewise
, consuming no
time
 on finding a car park, everyone
find
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finds
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 it much easier to take their
time
 and
left
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leave
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 the car to park by itself,
this
 potentially
save
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saves
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 a great deal of
time
. In conclusion, I argued that the
merites
Correct your spelling
merits
 of these transportation means outweigh the drawbacks on account of several reasons.
Submitted by momenzade.mahna1999 on

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Task Response
It's important to directly address the question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Although you've presented arguments for both sides, making a clearer, direct comparison would strengthen your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, consider using more diverse linking words and phrases to smoothly connect your ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Incorporating more specific examples to support your points could further enhance your essay. Examples help to illustrate your points more vividly to the reader.
Introduction
You've effectively used an introductory paragraph to set the context and present your main argument.
Logical Structure
Your essay maintains a clear structure, with separate paragraphs for different points.
Balanced Argument
You've attempted to cover both sides of the argument, which is good practice for this type of essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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