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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Nowadays, most countries can improve the standard of living through economic development, but so are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #development #phenomenon
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standard of living has been improved in
20th
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the 20th
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 century as there is vast economic development. it has benefits and drawbacks which
i
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I
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 am gonna talk about in
following
Correct article usage
the following
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paragaraphs
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paragraphs
. economic growth leads to improved infrastructure, access to education and health services, higher employment rates and advancement in technology.
as
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As
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 the income
raised
Verb problem
rises
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 as a country's economy
growth
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grows
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 and as a personal income, there has been huge betterment in
standard
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the standard
a standard
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 of living and increased purchasing power of individuals and families.
for example
, people with good pay
scale
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scales
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sending
Wrong verb form
send
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 their
childrens
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children
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to
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apply
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abroad
for
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apply
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study and in those
countries
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countries,
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childrens
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children
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
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 new things and improve their living standards.
although
, there
is
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are
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 disadvantages as well which
includes
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include
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 cultural erosion as globalization may lead to a loss of traditional values and way of life and
sciocultural
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sociocultural
 homogenization.
moreover
, rapid industrialization often leads to pollution, depletion of natural resources and biodiversity loss. there is less community cohesion and
breakdown
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a breakdown
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 of family structure as people move for jobs
due to
 urbanization.
however
,
health
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as health
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 services improved with economic development, so do lifestyle diseases. in conclusion,
i
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I
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 would say
instead
 of having
lot
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a lot
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 of drawbacks we are learning so many things with
this
 advancement. so we should consider it as a positive change.
Submitted by kiranrattu.kr on

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Grammar
Improving grammatical accuracy and range could significantly enhance the overall quality of your response.
Spelling
Beware of typos and ensure to check your essay for any spelling errors before finalizing.
Sentence Structure
Use a mix of complex and simple sentences to add depth to your writing.
Content Depth
Developing your arguments further and providing more specific examples could provide a stronger base for your essay.
Balance of Discussion
Your essay effectively covers both sides of the argument, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of economic development.
Structure
You have a clear essay structure that follows the progression from introduction through body paragraphs to conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • economic development
  • infrastructure
  • globalization
  • cultural erosion
  • sociocultural homogenization
  • industrialization
  • pollution
  • natural resources
  • biodiversity loss
  • wealth disparity
  • income inequality
  • urbanization
  • community cohesion
  • lifestyle diseases
  • sedentary lifestyle
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