IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You participated in a public event organized at a local park. Write a letter to the event organizer. In your letter tell them some feedback about the event; explain what you particularly enjoyed; give some suggestions for improvement.

#event #park #organizer #feedback #suggestions #improvement
Dear Sir or Madam, I recently attended a programme at Jinnah Park. I want to share my feedback through
this
 letter. Park management did a fantastic job managing
such
 a wonderful event. I
also
 like the pattern of the
programme
Correct your spelling
program
show examples
 because the format is in sequence which is usually ignored. But the function I
atttended
Correct your spelling
attended
 in your supervision has no flaws in formation.
Furthermore
, I
appriciated
Correct your spelling
appreciated
appreciate
 the staff, attending
tguests
Correct your spelling
guests
 in a very polite and humble way. Their attitude is awesome and very attentive
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 the programme ends.
Moreover
, the speakers invited by you deserved to be part of the event because of their knowledge of the given topic and the ability to express their bold
thougths
Correct your spelling
thoughts
. In short, as a whole, the event was amazing and informative. I got fruitful information and knowledge
while
 being a part of the function. I hope you will do better in future. Take care. Yours Faithfully, Kunwar
Submitted by computersinn2007 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, try to link your paragraphs more seamlessly through transitional phrases.
task achievement
For an even higher task achievement score, consider providing more detailed examples and suggestions for improvement.
coherence cohesion
The letter has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, effectively following the given task's structure.
task achievement
The writer has successfully communicated their appreciation and feedback about the event, meeting the task requirements.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • event organizer
  • public event
  • local park
  • feedback
  • organized
  • community engagement
  • performances
  • logistical
  • facilities
  • crowd management
  • inclusivity
  • local businesses
  • atmosphere
  • volunteer
  • memorable
  • suggestions for improvement
  • upcoming events
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