Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Some say that earning important quantities of cash
as well as
having fewer intervals of leisure is better than having less money with more free time.
This
essay will suggest that owning loads of it is necessary in order to have quality relaxation periods and having more spare time allows you to feel,
overall
, more relaxed. It is thought that thanks to having a large capital, individuals can enjoy the small amount of it they have.
Furthermore
, when having a lot of money, people are able to book extravagant trips to foreign countries and live countless and luxurious experiences.
For instance
, my uncle has only 2 weeks per year of vacation because he spends all of his hours working towards building an empire. Though he might seem tortured, he is one of the happiest men alive
as a consequence
of how perfectly he manages those two weeks and creates unforgettable memories with the cash he owns. People
also
believe that money is not a crucial factor in having the knowledge of how to spend a free stretch.
Moreover
, it is possible to enjoy most of life with not much in capital since having a pleasure in life is accessible to everyone.
For example
, in the 2023 annual Harvard Social study, the results illustrated that all in all, individuals with less cash were happier than those possessing a lot of it. Between the first category, 50% explained that their happiness was
due to
the simple yet qualitative life they have thanks to the important amount of leisure periods.
To conclude
, I personally think that having an important capital with little relaxation time is better than the opposite since it is possible to know how to organise these small periods of leisure in order to enjoy the most of it.
Submitted by praveenmodi28596 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure logical progressions between paragraphs. A clearer introductory sentence in each paragraph would enhance understanding.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of linking devices to improve cohesion between ideas.
Task Achievement
For a stronger task response, try to address the prompt more directly in the introduction and offer a clear thesis statement. This sets a strong foundation for your argument.
General
Utilize a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to enrich your essay and demonstrate linguistic range for a higher score.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively discusses both views as the prompt requests, showing comprehensive understanding.
Task Achievement
Use of a personal example (the uncle's story) is an effective way to support your point, making your argument more vivid.
Task Achievement
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the essay's argument, reinforcing your viewpoint effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Good overall logical structure, with distinct paragraphs for each viewpoint and a clear conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • facilitating
  • lifestyle
  • professional development
  • increased stress
  • work-life balance
  • hobbies
  • quality time
  • physical and mental health
  • financial constraints
  • luxury items
  • overall well-being
  • personal growth
  • middle ground
  • sacrificing
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