Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Some say that earning important quantities of cash

as well as

having fewer intervals of leisure is better than having less money with more free time.

This

essay will suggest that owning loads of it is necessary in order to have quality relaxation periods and having more spare time allows you to feel,

overall

, more relaxed. It is thought that thanks to having a large capital, individuals can enjoy the small amount of it they have.

Furthermore

, when having a lot of money, people are able to book extravagant trips to foreign countries and live countless and luxurious experiences.

For instance

, my uncle has only 2 weeks per year of vacation because he spends all of his hours working towards building an empire. Though he might seem tortured, he is one of the happiest men alive

as a consequence

of how perfectly he manages those two weeks and creates unforgettable memories with the cash he owns. People

also

believe that money is not a crucial factor in having the knowledge of how to spend a free stretch.

Moreover

, it is possible to enjoy most of life with not much in capital since having a pleasure in life is accessible to everyone.

For example

, in the 2023 annual Harvard Social study, the results illustrated that all in all, individuals with less cash were happier than those possessing a lot of it. Between the first category, 50% explained that their happiness was

due to

the simple yet qualitative life they have thanks to the important amount of leisure periods.

To conclude

, I personally think that having an important capital with little relaxation time is better than the opposite since it is possible to know how to organise these small periods of leisure in order to enjoy the most of it.

Submitted by praveenmodi28596 on Mon Apr 29 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

To enhance coherence, ensure logical progressions between paragraphs. A clearer introductory sentence in each paragraph would enhance understanding.

Coherence & Cohesion

Incorporate a wider range of linking devices to improve cohesion between ideas.

Task Achievement

For a stronger task response, try to address the prompt more directly in the introduction and offer a clear thesis statement. This sets a strong foundation for your argument.

General

Utilize a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to enrich your essay and demonstrate linguistic range for a higher score.

Task Achievement

The essay effectively discusses both views as the prompt requests, showing comprehensive understanding.

Task Achievement

Use of a personal example (the uncle's story) is an effective way to support your point, making your argument more vivid.

Task Achievement

The conclusion succinctly summarizes the essay's argument, reinforcing your viewpoint effectively.

Coherence & Cohesion

Good overall logical structure, with distinct paragraphs for each viewpoint and a clear conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
facilitating
lifestyle
professional development
increased stress
work-life balance
hobbies
quality time
physical and mental health
financial constraints
luxury items
overall well-being
personal growth
middle ground
sacrificing

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Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas.

The Vital Role of Banking in Promoting Economic Growth and Development.

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both these views!