Today children are surrounded by electronic devices such as personal computers, tablet computers, and smart phones, and they learn to use them at a very early age. What are advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

In the modern era, technology plays a decisive role from the early stages of people's lives.
This
issue
have
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has
show examples
some benefits and drawbacks which I'm going to explain more about in the rest of
this
essay.
To begin
with, some individuals criticize new technologies because of their destructive impacts.
Firstly
, overusing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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electronic devices can stray teenagers from their main targets which are finding a job in the future and attempting to build a satisfying life and waste their valuable time.
Secondly
, looking at smart
dispalys
Correct your spelling
displays
for a long time can impair the physical abilities
in
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of
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individuals which is dangerous, particularly in children and teenagers and lead to hard conditions like obesity.
For example
, some research
indicate
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indicates
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that the rate of obesity among younger members of society has increased by 200 per cent in the
last
two decades.
Finally
, some hackers abuse children who use social media which can lead to mental conditions.
On the other hand
, modern devices are touted by some groups of the community. The
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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has increased the availability of education to families who live in remote areas.
Hence
, It leads to more
concsious
Correct your spelling
conscious
fellas who are educated and contribute to
have
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having
show examples
a better world. I,
for instance
, use
Youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
whenever I do not understand a subject at school as an educational resource.
Additionally
, social media has
strengthen
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strengthened
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the bond between members of families who do not live with each other which is a positive development and no other thing has done it yet.
To conclude
, utilizing modern technologies from
early
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an early
show examples
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
has some potential upsides and downsides which I
mentined
Correct your spelling
mentioned
.
Submitted by yasinisback8 on

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Grammar
Be mindful of verb tenses and subject-verb agreement to maintain accuracy throughout your essay.
Coherence
Consider using a wider range of linking words to better connect your ideas and paragraphs for improved coherence.
Content
To strengthen your argument, include more detailed examples and elaborate more on your points.
Introduction
You've effectively introduced the topic and provided a balanced view on the advantages and disadvantages of children using technology.
Structure
Good job on structuring your essay with clear paragraphs, each dedicated to a specific point.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarises your arguments, providing a clear stance on the issue.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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