Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss two views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Some opine that leisure
time
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is for activities that improve the mind,
while
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other
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others
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say
its
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it's
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for the
brain
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to
rest
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.
This
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essay
willl
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will
analyse both viewpoints followed by a personal opinion.
Body · 1
Leisure
time
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should be used for activities that stimulate the
brain
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like
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, like
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reading and doing varieties of puzzles.
This
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is because it encourages growth, especially in
this
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generation where temporary dopamine sources are generalized
such
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as doomscrolling on TikTok or Instagram and
binge watching
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binge-watching
series with six seasons and movies within 24 hours.
This
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may lead to a person feeling more productive.
Consequently
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, people will become more intelligent if they do
this
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consistently over a period of
time
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.
Body · 2
On the other hand
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, it is more vital to
rest
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the
brain
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. A reason for
this
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is having limited
time
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to unwind and
rest
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their mind
due to
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stress and overworking throughout the whole day.
This
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can lead to burnout and
brain
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fog in the long term. Not calming the body can significantly impact health and lifestyle.
Therefor
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Therefore
, it is equally as important as work.
Conclusion
In my opinion, how someone
utilise
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utilises
show examples
the
time
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depends entirely on their lifestyle and schedule for the day. Sudoku and crossword as a hobby with an allocated
time
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in the schedule for it gives more
time
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to calm the nervous system in leisure
time
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;
whereas
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, others
being
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, being
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at work the whole
day
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day,
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would prefer to
rest
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than do activities.

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task response
Make your main view more clear in the end. Now your opinion is a bit in the middle.
task response
Add one short real example for each side. This will make your ideas stronger.
task response
Explain your points a little more. Some ideas are good, but they stop too soon.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more careful way. Some parts join well, but some feel too fast.
coherence and cohesion
Check word forms and small grammar mistakes, because they can make meaning less clear.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last paragraph more like a full conclusion. Say your view in one strong sentence.
task response
You discuss both views, so you answer all parts of the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end.
task response
The topic stays on leisure time all through the essay.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphing well, and each paragraph has one main idea.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
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