IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

New stories on TV and in newspapers are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words. What is your opinion about this?

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Nowadays, news media are publishing their stories using
pictures
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 very often. Some argue that portraits convey messages more effectively than textual
content
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. I believe
this
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 is true because visual
information
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 can have more impact on people's memory compared to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
simple text. Newspapers and Television are one of the main sources through which people receive news, which could be important. And, if
this
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 news not only contains text
by
Correct word choice
but
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 has some visuals in it, it would help the
reader
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 to understand and remember it better.
Pictures
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 can help human beings recall their memories quickly.
Besides
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, if there are only words in the newspaper, one can find it very boring and stressful.
For instance
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, we live in a modern era where almost everybody is addicted to smartphones which have visual
content
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 in them which are more attractive, that they can remember for a long time.
On the other hand
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, textual narratives are
also
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 important as
pictures
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 cannot alone convey the
information
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.
As reading
Correct word choice
Reading
show examples
 material can provide the
reader
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 with more
content
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, which provides a wide range of knowledge,
however
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,
this
Linking Words
 is not present in the photographs, which can often lead to misinterpretation.
For example
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, if someone is studying a criminal case, the
reader
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 cannot get the full
information
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 by viewing
pictures
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 alone, as they have to read the written context. In conclusion, using visualized
content
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 has a great influence on the
reader
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's mind as it can help the
reader
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 to grasp more
information
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, and
also
Linking Words
 make it more interesting to study.

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Task Achievement
To enhance your score in Task Achievement, try integrating more diversified and specific examples that directly support your opinion. This approach will offer a more comprehensive understanding and make your argument stronger.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, consider varying your sentence structures and linking phrases to create a smoother flow between ideas. While your essay is easy to follow, more sophisticated linking and transition phrases could enhance its readability and cohesion.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, effectively setting up and summarizing your argument, which is commendable.
Logical Structure
You have a strong logical structure that helps in making your essay coherently presented and easy to follow.
Supported Main Points
Your main points are well supported, but integrating a wider range of examples and evidence could strengthen them even more.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Visuals
  • Textual narratives
  • Comprehension
  • Retention
  • Imagery
  • Evoking emotions
  • Pictorial bias
  • Contextual information
  • Skew understanding
  • Learning styles
  • Memory recall
  • Accessibility
  • Illiteracy
  • Language proficiency
  • Sensationalism
  • Capture the essence
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