Nowadays, some parents pressure their children to be successful in a specific field. What are the reasons for this? Is it negative or positive?
In these
days, Change preposition
These
parents
recommend to
their Change preposition
apply
children
to get
Verb problem
apply
success
in one field Replace the word
succeed
due to
some reasons but it can impact on Change preposition
for
juvennile
in Correct your spelling
juvenile
juveniles
wrong
or right way. I will discuss Add an article
the wrong
on
Change preposition
apply
this
topic in upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
with, being concentrate
on one field by students is beneficial for their development and future aspirations. To elaborate, when Wrong verb form
concentrated
children
study Change preposition
apply
in
a particular subject Change preposition
apply
Change preposition
at
in
Change preposition
at
their
early age Change the word
an
then
, they got
more knowledge Wrong verb form
get
Change preposition
by
through
focusing Change preposition
by
Change preposition
on at
at
Correct your spelling
a
single
subject and can succeed in their Add an article
the single
a single
life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
In addition
, due to
this
reason, they can easily get job
in their field.
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
On the other hand
, if parents
pressurize
their Verb problem
pressure
children
could lose interest and they
might miss the Correct pronoun usage
apply
oppotunities
to achieve success. Correct your spelling
opportunities
For example
, children
learn
only one topic Wrong verb form
learning
everytime
can lead to Replace the word
every time
bored
and lack of interest in learning. Correct your spelling
boredom
Moreover
, when children
feel that they can never meet their parents
' expectations, it can lead to a lack of motivation and a decrease in self-esteem.
In conclusion, if children
chose
a subject Wrong verb form
choose
according to
their preference can achieve success but if parents
pressure on
them can lead to emotional stress and Change preposition
apply
could not
explore Wrong verb form
cannot
the
more opportunities.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by AP on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that your arguments are well-supported with more specific examples or evidence. This will make your essay more persuasive and comprehensive.
language use
Work on varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely. This will enhance both the readability and sophistication of your essay.
task achievement
Consider exploring both sides of the argument more thoroughly to demonstrate a balanced analysis. This could involve discussing a greater variety of viewpoints and providing more detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in reader understanding.
task achievement
You successfully addressed the topic and presented arguments for both the positive and negative effects of parental pressure.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates an ability to formulate coherent arguments and maintain focus on the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.