Young people are often influenced by their peers. Cons outweigh the prons?

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Youngsters now have a noticeable effect on their behaviours by people of the same age or at the same level, it is called

peer

Use synonyms

pressure

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. Some believe that

peer

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influence plays a significant role in teenagers' lives

while

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others argue that it can have a bad influence. I believe that

peer

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pressure

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can have a positive impact

such

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as competitiveness and aspiration,

while

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it can

also

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lead to bad habits

such

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as smoking illegal things for minors. On the one hand, the process by which members of the same social group affect other members to do alike things

Remove the comma

apply

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can lead to pushing themselves to success by awakening competition between them and the tendency to perform their best. In the most common situation like school,where students in the same grades are chasing to be better than their classmates by showing excellent results, because when their rivals get great marks, meanwhile they do not get,

this

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pupil will have a sense of lack which will torment them.

For example

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, in the movie Sydney, two girls named Jess and Emily each of them has an amazing academic performance, but when Emily gets more commendations from teachers Jess gets upset , so she makes every effort to be better.

On the other hand

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, that

pressure

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can cause customs

such

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as smoking and drinking alcohol even when they are not under 18, as that group persuaded them

that is

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not bad because they are doing the same but they are still okay. When a kid sees a cool toy from other children he will be willing to get that stuff, for the reason that it is a trend and he should own that.

For instance

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according to

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the

last

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survey, a vast majority of students (56%) started smoking an item called vape which is harmful

for

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everyone.But it spread among the teens and now it is something extraordinary that everyone uses. In conclusion,

peer

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pressure

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causes success by performing competitiveness and aspiration,

while

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it can

also

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damage them by providing bad habits

such

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as smoking. It is predicted that, in 2065, everyone will not be affected by

this

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peer

Use synonyms

influence.

aizered097Mon Apr 29 2024

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Development of ideas

Enhance the quality of your examples by linking them more clearly to your main argument. Although you've used relevant examples, making the connection to your thesis more explicit could strengthen your argument.

Language use

Pay attention to vary your sentence structures to include more complex and compound sentences for a richer linguistic texture.

Argumentation

Be mindful of general statements or predictions without evidence or explanation, particularly in your conclusion. While it's good to offer a future perspective, grounding it with more concrete reasoning could make your argument more persuasive.

Balance of Discussion

Consider balancing the discussion of positive and negative aspects more equally. The essay leans slightly towards illustrating negative outcomes, so ensuring an equal representation will make your analysis more balanced.

Content Coverage

Your essay effectively outlines both the positive and negative impacts of peer pressure, ensuring a well-rounded discussion.

Structure

The introduction and conclusion are clearly marked and effectively encapsulate the main points of the essay, contributing to its overall coherence.

Use of Examples

You've demonstrated a good ability to use examples to support your points, enhancing the essay's persuasiveness.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

354 words

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Young people are often influenced by their peers. Cons outweigh the prons?

Your opinion

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your colleague has invited you to his farewell party. You will not be able to attend the party, write a letter to the friend. Explain the situation, Say why you will not be attending, Say something about the period you have worked together and his/her work.

While some suggest the best way to combat climate change is by having a carbon tax on large corporations’ activities, others think that individuals paying tax on their own carbon footprints will have a greater impact.

Some people think that competition at work , at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. discuss both views and give your own opinion.