some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

Dealing with smartphones has become

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show examples

ubiquitous issue in offspring's lives.

While

some individuals argue that

this

gadget brings about plenty of benefits, there are a number of dark sides to

this

widespread phenomenon. By looking at the advantages of mobile, we can easily see that cell phones bring offspring together in virtual forums by which they can interact with peers and like-minded ones.

Moreover

this

stuff is not only beneficial but

also

joyful, providing some educational programs and some specific games that kids can boost their knowledge in an appealing way.

Last

but not least, the incidence of

such

pandemic diseases as COVID-19 reveals that these gadgets could come up with a space in which pupils do not stay away from school, substituting the real classes. With regard to

Correct article usage

the

show examples

dark sides of

this

problem, by introducing the devices, offspring interacting face-to-face has fallen dramatically. The more they indulge in

this

, the more they are reluctant to spend with surrounding people. Another concerning point would be about the content that they may encounter on websites or social media

such

as offensive clips or sorts of discrimination messages.

Finally

, what worries parents surrounding

this

happening is related to wasting the time of their offspring which teachers complain about , either.Grappling with a smartphone all day long means students do not have to bother themselves to tackle mathematical questions or other science.

To conclude

although

cell phones potentially can offer worthwhile advantages, neglecting their complication could result in irrecoverable consequences for offspring.

Submitted by amirhossein7179 on Wed Feb 14 2024

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Task Response

To improve task response, ensure that your position (whether the development is positive or negative) is clear throughout the essay. You discuss both sides, but a stronger stance could enhance your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, aim to link your ideas more clearly. Transition phrases can help guide the reader through your argument with greater fluidity. Additionally, organizing paragraphs around a single main idea can improve clarity.

General Advice

To strengthen your essay, use more specific examples and data to support your points. Rather than making general statements about the benefits or drawbacks of smartphone use, provide concrete instances or studies that illustrate these effects.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20 % in the last 10 years. Discuss the causes and effects.

Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help people to prevent illness and disease

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.