Write about the following topic: The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some opine that an individual's standard health is most likely to diminish in the near future. I completely agree with the statement, looking at the quality of
food
and physical activity performed by an individual it is pretty clear what the future will look like.
To begin
with, the quality of
food
has decreased over the years, a lot of pesticides and
chemicals
are used to alter the shape, colour and taste of fruits and veggies.
Although
these
chemicals
make the
food
item quite appealing, they lose their minerals, which affects the consumer's health later.
For example
: the department of
Food
and Safety claims the adulteration and usage of
chemicals
to develop
food
has decreased the consumer's
life
by five years.
Furthermore
, automation has made
life
easy. Machinery is doing two-thirds of human work on a daily basis, which has affected human physical activity. people have stopped walking
due to
the availability of cars and scooters, physical shopping has been replaced by online and much more. Automation has eliminated the element of physical work from human
life
leading to diseases like diabetes, high blood pressure and obesity. To exemplify: a drastic decrease in the level of exercise in the
last
five years in the northern part of the United States has led to all-time high cases of obesity and diabetes. In conclusion, multiple changes in lifestyle
due to
technological advancements and alteration of our vegetation using
chemicals
could be the leading cause of lowering the
life
expectancy in the world.
Submitted by vasudha.gupta0818 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To further enhance your essay, consider integrating a wider range of complex sentence structures to demonstrate linguistic proficiency. This could involve more varied use of adjective clauses, adverbial clauses, and conditionals.
Task Achievement
While your essay presents a clear argument, diversifying your language use with synonyms and more complex vocabulary could enrich your response and showcase a higher level of English proficiency.
Task Achievement
You've done an excellent job at outlining the impacts of food quality and automation on health, providing clear, relevant examples to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay follows a clear and logical structure, making it easy to follow your argument from introduction to conclusion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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