IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart shows the scores of teams A, B, and C over four different seasons.

The bar chart shows the scores of teams A, B, and C over four different seasons.
#bar #scores #teams #b #c #four #seasons
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The bar chart below
illusrates
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illustrates
 the
points
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 gained by three
diffirent
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different
 teams [
team
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 A,
team
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B
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 and
team
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C
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] in four
diffirent
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different
years
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,
team
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B
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 is
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the top with
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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 marks in all
years
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while
Linking Words
team
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C
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 is
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the bottom with
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 scores in all
years
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 2002
team
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 A in the deepest position with only 5
points
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while
Linking Words
team
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C
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is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 in
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 position with 10
points
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 but
team
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B
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is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the peak with a large
dipute
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dispute
 and 82 marks. In 2003, again
team
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 A
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 the lowest
points
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 of 11
while
Linking Words
team
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C
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has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
15p
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15
points
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 but again
team
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B
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is
Wrong verb form
was
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 first with a big distance with two other
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team
Fix the agreement mistake
teams
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 and 60
points
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. In 2004, unlike
of
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in
show examples
peviouse
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previous
years
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team
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 A
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 second position with 35
points
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 close to
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team
Capitalize word
Team
show examples
B
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 with 43
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
while
Linking Words
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team
Capitalize word
Team
show examples
C
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is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the bottom with just 12
points
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. In 2005,
team
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C
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is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
repeatly
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repeatedly
repeated
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the bottom with 5
points
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 meanwhile
team
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 A
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 8
points
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 but as always
team
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B
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is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the top with a great difference and 55
points
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by amotoh10 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words points, team, b, years, c with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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