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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The bar chart shows the scores of teams A, B, and C over four different seasons.

The bar chart shows the scores of teams A, B, and C over four different seasons.
#bar #scores #teams #b #c #four #seasons
The bar chart below
illusrates
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 the
points
 gained by three
diffirent
Correct your spelling
different
 teams [
team
 A,
team
B
 and
team
C
] in four
diffirent
Correct your spelling
different
years
.
Overall
,
team
B
 is
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the top with
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 marks in all
years
while
team
C
 is
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the bottom with
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 scores in all
years
.
To begin
 with, in 2002
team
 A in the deepest position with only 5
points
while
team
C
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 in
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 position with 10
points
 but
team
B
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the peak with a large
dipute
Correct your spelling
dispute
 and 82 marks. In 2003, again
team
 A
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the lowest
points
 of 11
while
team
C
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
15p
Correct your spelling
15
points
 but again
team
B
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 first with a big distance with two other
team
Fix the agreement mistake
teams
show examples
 and 60
points
. In 2004, unlike
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
peviouse
Correct your spelling
previous
years
team
 A
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 second position with 35
points
 close to
team
Capitalize word
Team
show examples
B
 with 43
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
while
team
Capitalize word
Team
show examples
C
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the bottom with just 12
points
. In 2005,
team
C
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
repeatly
Correct your spelling
repeatedly
repeated
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the bottom with 5
points
 meanwhile
team
 A
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 8
points
 but as always
team
B
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the top with a great difference and 55
points
.
Submitted by amotoh10 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words points, team, b, years, c with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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