It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives

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Being alive always is risky, and people should take some risks in their whole lives.

While

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taking them you may face failure, it allows individuals to create new opportunities and I believe

this

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advantage far outweighs any disadvantages. Making a risky move may hurt a person short term. Take,

for example

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, employees who work for a company with little money and they receive financial benefits from it. If they quit their job to seek more opportunities, they would face short-term financial problems.

However

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, I do not consider

this

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as a significant problem, because when you look at your whole

life

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these little problems can be solved easily in the long term. On the flip side, risks bring chances to

life

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. I can not imagine a successful person who avoids taking a risk, they risk in

everyday

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every day

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in their

life

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to achieve success.

For instance

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, If parents, who live in a poor country, have not been brave enough to move to another country to seek more chances for living, their children will not be lucky enough to live in an advanced country.

Additionally

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, If talented students do not pursue their dreams and stay at university, they may lose their hope in future and feel less happy.

To sum up

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although

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taking a risk needs lots of effort and sacrifice, to me, it worth it because of the bright future that it can be bring to your

life

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. So, risks in

life

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are inevitable, and of course the advantages of making them outweigh any disadvantages.

Submitted by mehdikarimi0811 on Tue Apr 30 2024

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Example Detail

Try to expand on your examples by providing more detail. This will strengthen your argument and show a deeper level of analysis.

Cohesive Devices

Incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of your essay. While you have structured your essay well, using a variety of linking words and phrases could improve coherence.

Introduction & Conclusion

Work on developing your introduction and conclusion further. A more detailed introduction setting up your argument and a conclusive summary of your points can enhance clarity.

Position Clarity

Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic, effectively arguing that the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages.

Logical Structure

You have structured your essay logically, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Use of Examples

Your use of examples, like employees taking financial risks or families moving countries for better opportunities, effectively supports your main points.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast food. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree

All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children’s future.Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

All students ought to study art and music in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many believe that the best way to ensure a happier society is to reduce the difference in income earnings between the rich and poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.