News plays an important part of most people’s lives. Why is news so important to people? Why is so much news dedicated to bad news? Should the news focus on good news instead?

It is undeniable that
news
has significant impacts on society in various aspects,
such
as economics.
People
read
news
for different purposes depending on their interests.
This
essay will elaborate on the reason why
news
is so important to
people
, why bad
news
gains more attention compared to good
news
and
lastly
, why reporters should not focus only on good
news
.
First,
news
informs
people
about what is happening in the world not only the good sides but
also
the bad sides.
In addition
, the updated information is necessary for some groups of
people
.
For example
, financial investors follow
news
reporters because they have to evaluate businesses or industries
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
they are investing.
Second,
bad
news
gains more attention from readers.
This
is the reason why so much
news
mostly focuses on the bad side.
For instance
, bad
news
related to celebrities always becomes a hot topic as soon as it is reported.
People
heavily criticise and comment on the information that they receive.
Third,
it would be not appropriate to focus only on good
news
. Actually, bad
news
is
also
beneficial for
people
to be aware of threats that may occur. To give a clear example, criminal
news
can remind
people
to ensure security around their houses. If they come across a suspected person, they will recognise and report the police immediately.
To sum up
,
news
is important for
people
because it explains the world’s situation. It is normal to see more bad
news
because it can attract more readers’ attention.
Although
the good
news
is more pleasure to read, bad
news
also
has advantages since it increases
people
’s crime awareness.
Submitted by Punpun on

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task achievement
The essay generally addresses all parts of the prompt, but it would be stronger with more specific examples and arguments to support the points made. Be sure to elaborate a bit more on each main point and provide specific, relevant examples to strengthen arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that each point is fully explained. In the third paragraph, while the point about bad news gaining more attention is valid, providing more detailed reasons why this happens (such as psychological reasons) would strengthen the essay’s argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Using cohesive devices more effectively can help maintain the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. The conclusion is well done as it summarizes the main points clearly, but ensure it also provides a final insight or perspective on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which demonstrates good organization.
task achievement
You have effectively covered all parts of the task with clear and comprehensive ideas, which is good for task achievement.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, like the one regarding financial investors and crime awareness, adds relevance to your points.

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