IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

News plays an important part of most people’s lives. Why is news so important to people? Why is so much news dedicated to bad news? Should the news focus on good news instead?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is undeniable that
news
Use synonyms
 has significant impacts on society in various aspects,
such
Linking Words
 as economics.
People
Use synonyms
 read
news
Use synonyms
 for different purposes depending on their interests.
This
Linking Words
 essay will elaborate on the reason why
news
Use synonyms
 is so important to
people
Use synonyms
, why bad
news
Use synonyms
 gains more attention compared to good
news
Use synonyms
 and
lastly
Linking Words
, why reporters should not focus only on good
news
Use synonyms
.
First,
Linking Words
news
Use synonyms
 informs
people
Use synonyms
 about what is happening in the world not only the good sides but
also
Linking Words
 the bad sides.
In addition
Linking Words
, the updated information is necessary for some groups of
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, financial investors follow
news
Use synonyms
 reporters because they have to evaluate businesses or industries
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 they are investing.
Second,
Linking Words
bad
news
Use synonyms
 gains more attention from readers.
This
Linking Words
 is the reason why so much
news
Use synonyms
 mostly focuses on the bad side.
For instance
Linking Words
, bad
news
Use synonyms
 related to celebrities always becomes a hot topic as soon as it is reported.
People
Use synonyms
 heavily criticise and comment on the information that they receive.
Third,
Linking Words
it would be not appropriate to focus only on good
news
Use synonyms
. Actually, bad
news
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 beneficial for
people
Use synonyms
 to be aware of threats that may occur. To give a clear example, criminal
news
Use synonyms
 can remind
people
Use synonyms
 to ensure security around their houses. If they come across a suspected person, they will recognise and report the police immediately.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
news
Use synonyms
 is important for
people
Use synonyms
 because it explains the world’s situation. It is normal to see more bad
news
Use synonyms
 because it can attract more readers’ attention.
Although
Linking Words
 the good
news
Use synonyms
 is more pleasure to read, bad
news
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 has advantages since it increases
people
Use synonyms
’s crime awareness.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay generally addresses all parts of the prompt, but it would be stronger with more specific examples and arguments to support the points made. Be sure to elaborate a bit more on each main point and provide specific, relevant examples to strengthen arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that each point is fully explained. In the third paragraph, while the point about bad news gaining more attention is valid, providing more detailed reasons why this happens (such as psychological reasons) would strengthen the essay’s argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Using cohesive devices more effectively can help maintain the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. The conclusion is well done as it summarizes the main points clearly, but ensure it also provides a final insight or perspective on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which demonstrates good organization.
task achievement
You have effectively covered all parts of the task with clear and comprehensive ideas, which is good for task achievement.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, like the one regarding financial investors and crime awareness, adds relevance to your points.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: