Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.
People
have more money
and less free time
is far better the earning less money
and having more time
to spend in life. There are many things we must know about the views of both sides and I will discuss this
in the upcoming paragraph.
On the one hand, the first set of people
have to work
hard for the family so that they can have money
to run the family very well. They do not have much time
to spend their time
with family and friends, so it will be tough in
Verb problem
to build
relationship
with family members and it leads to problems in Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
family
. There are many advantages like saving Add an article
the family
money
for foreign trips, buying a house, and cars for family and some people
manage their time
and money
equally to spend time
with family and friends. For example
, my uncle was a businessman he saved a lot of money
for foreign trips and had the same amount of time
with his family as well.
On the other hand
, the second set of people
also
have to work
hard for their family life but they have so much time
to spend with their family and colleagues. Most of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
work
9-5 jobs, and it is the place where they have to work
for limited
Add an article
a limited
time
, so they have nothing to do apart from other time
. They have so much to do apart from work
as enjoy
Wrong verb form
enjoying
time
with family, some household work
, and many other works. For instance
, A middle-class man has a single job to do in a day after finishing his working hours they can spend their remaining time
with loved ones.
To sum up
, people
have many pros and cons when it comes to money
and time
, in my opinion, people
should make money
more and at the same time
they want to enjoy their life as they wish.Submitted by insighttribez on
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Task Achievement
Try to provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction to outline your opinion and the structure of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve flow and cohesion between ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Be sure to directly address the question in your conclusion by clearly stating your opinion and summarizing the main points discussed.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. While you provided examples, making them more detailed and relevant can strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
You have discussed both views as the prompt requested, which shows good understanding of the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with a clear distinction between paragraphs.
Task Achievement
You provided examples to support your points, which helps to illustrate your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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