IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties having enough sleep what are problems caused by lack of sleep? what can be done about this lack of sleep?

#people #difficulties #lack
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There can be little doubt that lack of sleep is a significant concern about
health
Use synonyms
 problems worldwide.
This
Linking Words
 problem could have a reduction in learning and working quality but can be addressed by suitable living habits. The underlying consequence of the problem is having a negative impact on people's
health
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 and how they perform in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. To explain
further
Linking Words
, people who do not sleep enough are more likely to be asleep
while
Linking Words
 working or learning.
As a result
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, their quality will be worsened.
In addition
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, it is detrimental to their
health
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 with the concern of many sleeping or mental diseases like depression, insomnia, etc.
This
Linking Words
 is true in the USA, where there are a lot of young patients with sleeping problems.
However
Linking Words
, perhaps the solution to the problem of sleeplessness is to be found in the form of leading patients to a healthy lifestyle
as well as
Linking Words
 having reasonable time management. The most effective approach is to offer suitable treatments like meditation, appropriate diet and healthy exercises.
This
Linking Words
 situation might
leads
Change the verb form
lead
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 to people performing well in their life
as well as
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 enhancing their living qualities and having
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
sustainable
health
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. Strategies
such
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 as
Health
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 Care Services in the USA have been proven to reduce the symptoms in their countries and around the world.
Thus
Linking Words
, it can be seen that sleeplessness leads to bad
performạnce
Correct your spelling
performance
 in life and people’s
health
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it should have been demonstrated that urgent action needs to be taken in the form of medical treatments or offering patients a healthy lifestyle.
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task achievement
The overall response to the task is satisfactory, but it can be improved by providing more specific details and examples to illustrate your points more clearly.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear, but they could benefit from further elaboration and expansion. Consider adding more detailed explanations and examples.
coherence cohesion
Some points are well-supported, but others could use more development and specific examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your writing demonstrates a logical flow of ideas. The transitions between paragraphs are smooth, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.
task achievement
You have addressed the task by discussing the problems caused by lack of sleep and suggesting solutions, which shows a good understanding of the question.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Insomnia
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Sleep disorders
  • Sleep quality
  • Fatigue
  • Exhaustion
  • Restless
  • Restorative sleep
  • REM sleep
  • Circadian rhythm
  • Sleep hygiene
  • Napping
  • Sleep duration
  • Melatonin
  • Sleep-inducing
  • Drowsiness
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Obstructive sleep apnea
  • Snoring
  • Sleepwalking
  • Sleep talking
  • Shift work
  • Sleeping pills
  • Sleep aid
  • Relaxation techniques
  • Meditation
  • Deep breathing
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