IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart and table below give information about healthcare resources and life expectancy in different countries.

The chart and table below give information about healthcare resources and life expectancy in different countries.
#information #healthcare #resources #life #expectancy #countries
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The given bar chart and table depict the
number
Use synonyms
 of hospital bunks per thousand
people
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 and government expenditure on
health
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, government
health
Use synonyms
 spending in
Japan
Use synonyms
 is the least among the two other countries but its life expectancy
as well as
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of hospital bunks is the highest.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the government
health
Use synonyms
 expenditure in the US is the highest but its
people
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's lifespan can not surpass
Japan
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's. In detail, the
health
Use synonyms
 spending in the US is $6,719 per person
while
Linking Words
 most
people
Use synonyms
 there are likely to reach 78 years old in age, less than Netherlands and
Japan
Use synonyms
. Even the
number
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 of hospital
beds
Use synonyms
 in the US is below those two countries. Apparently, the institution budget that has been issued is not efficient enough because of the lesser output. Meanwhile,
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
 seems to manage its
health
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 spending better. It has been proven from the longer
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 which is around 80 years and
also
Linking Words
 the more hospital
beds
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. Above them all,
Japan
Use synonyms
 is the most efficient one. The expenditure of healthcare is just $2,581 per person but its
people
Use synonyms
's lifespan exceeds 80 years old.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of hospital bunks in there is the highest too. It is
also
Linking Words
 displayed in the graph that a country like Germany has a quite high
number
Use synonyms
 of hospital
beds
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, approximately 8
beds
Use synonyms
 per one thousand
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by srsdy008 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people, health, japan, beds with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • healthcare resources
  • life expectancy
  • per capita
  • modern medical equipment
  • correlate
  • accessibility
  • average lifespan
  • healthcare policies
  • government healthcare spending
  • disparities
  • developed countries
  • developing countries
  • global health inequalities
  • technological advancements
  • telemedicine
  • AI diagnostics
  • health outcomes
  • public health initiatives
  • vaccination programs
  • preventive healthcare
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