These days, many people watch sports on TV. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Although

Linking Words

advertising

products

Use synonyms

by popular sportsmen is thought by some to be a good aspect, other

people

Use synonyms

think that it can be detrimental. In my opinion, I believe that advertising different

products

Use synonyms

can bring more advantages for

people

Use synonyms

and companies compared to any problems it may bring. Despite the drawbacks below, I consider

benefits

Correct article usage

the benefits

show examples

which are brought by advertising might be really useful.

Firstly

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, companies can rely on athletes’ popularity in order to promote their

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

For example

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, the chance that customers will be interested in new sneakers which are produced by Nike is higher if Micheal Jordan considers them interesting.

Secondly

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, there are some

people

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who do not care about new

products

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at all.

In other words

Linking Words

, they may not know about new goods,

while

Linking Words

they

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

do not mind

to buy

Change the verb form

buying

show examples

something which they noticed in their

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

player’s t-shirt. Admittedly, there are some issues involved when

products

Use synonyms

are advertised by famous athletes. One problem is that it may increase prices, meanwhile the quality is the same.

For instance

Linking Words

, the sneaker company can pay several

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

Tiger Wolf to advertise their sneakers which may lead to a significant marketing cost increase and,

as a result

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, higher prices. Another negative aspect is that it may be wrongly thought that the product has outstanding quality just because it is promoted by

celebrity

Add an article

a celebrity

show examples

. In fact,

this

Linking Words

is not always true. In conclusion, the significant benefits that companies and common

people

Use synonyms

can get when famous athletes advertise different

products

Use synonyms

clearly outweigh any disadvantages.

s_syedyTue Apr 30 2024

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Task Achievement

Consider introducing more specific examples that directly support your main points to strengthen your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Aim to vary your sentence structures and use transitional phrases to improve flow between ideas for better coherence and cohesion.

Task Achievement

To enhance clarity, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, supported by relevant examples or explanations.

Task Achievement

Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument, showing a clear position throughout the essay.

Task Achievement

Good job on presenting a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages before stating your opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have a clear logical structure, making your essay easy to follow.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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These days, many people watch sports on TV. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, the tradition of having family meals together is disappearing. Why is this happening? What will the effects of this be on the family and society

Tobacco is a kind of drug. People have been free to use it. Some people think that it should be illegal to use it comparing with other drugs. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What is your opinion?

Million of dollars are spent on space every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe in the proverb that where there is a will, there is a way. They think that if the desire is strong enough, they can achieve anything. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this belief?

numerous animal species worldwide are currently facing extinction. Some argue that countries and individuals should prioritize protecting these animals, while others believe resources should be focused more on human issues. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.