Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

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In the present world, governments’ investment is rapidly increasing. Many individuals like the different investments of their governments in the arts. It is disagreed that the government must invest

this

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money in public services

instead

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. Cities without theatres, concert halls and

art

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galleries cannot teach their citizens about cultures, human behaviours, and enjoyment of life.

Firstly

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, a citizen would increase their intellectuality if their cities had

art

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events

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For example

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, it is known that theatres are used to teach traditions, history, and human actions to individuals from seven to seventy ages old and especially it can be helpful to teenagers and elementary school kids’ development.

However

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, if a metropolis does not have

art

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events

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, the community will only learn what they need to know like a robot and they will lack emotions.

As a result

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, arts in cities have significant benefits for individuals.

Secondly

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, people can reduce their stress and depression with

art

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festivals.

For instance

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, with technological development most folk deal with pressure in their daily lives and thanks to investing in

art

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, people can enjoy their lives and feel like they are alive even if they are exhausted.

On the other hand

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, if there are fewer or no

art

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events

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in the

center

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centre

show examples

, people need to go to psychology to treat themselves.

Therefore

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this

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makes it clear that government should invest in the arts. In conclusion, downtowns with no

art

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events

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are duller and more chaotic than metropolises with

art

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festivals.

Thus

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, the idea of investing only in public services cannot be accepted. After the given information, it is predicted that governments invest more money in

art

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festivals

such

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as music, theatre, and cultural things to help people’s mental illnesses and educate them

atakantemizkan0Tue Apr 30 2024

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introduction

Your introduction provides a clear thesis statement, but you could enhance its impact by offering a brief preview of your supporting arguments.

body

Develop your main points further with more specific examples or data for even stronger argumentation.

coherence

Consider varying your sentence structures and transitions more to enhance the flow and coherence of your essay.

conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments, but adding a more decisive statement about your stance could strengthen your position.

paragraph development

Ensure all paragraphs are well-developed and centered around a single main idea, using clear topic sentences.

argument strength

You effectively argue against the notion that government investment in the arts is a waste, presenting clear benefits regarding cultural education and mental health.

relevance

You consistently link the importance of government investment in the arts to broader societal benefits, like stress reduction and intellectual development.

example usage

You use a variety of examples to support your points, though more specificity could further enhance these illustrations.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural enrichment
expression of creativity
promote diversity
enhance social cohesion
boost tourism
job creation
stimulate economic growth
improve quality of life
essential services
maintenance and development

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Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given to protect wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agee or disagree?

Some people dislike changes in their society and in their own lives, and want things to stay the same. Why do some people want things to stay the same? Why should change be regarded as something positive?

In many countries the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging populations

Some people think young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others think that they should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.