In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

While
in some countries university students choose to live with their
parents
at home, some
other's
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others
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choose to live far from their
family
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families
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while
they pursue their higher
degree
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degrees
show examples
. In my opinion, living far from our
parents
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
much
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many
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more advantages rather than living with our
parents
,
such
as growth
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in student's
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student's
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student
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responsibility,
problem solving
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problem-solving
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, and
also
time
management which I will
ellaborate
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elaborate
more
in
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about in
show examples
the following paragraph. As we live far from our family, it is the best
time
for us to shift ourselves into a survival mode. In
additions
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addition
show examples
, living far from the family can make us as
student
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students
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becoming
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become
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more responsible with everything related to our
life
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lives
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.
For instance
, when I live with my mother I never think
what
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about what
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food I want to eat as it
already
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is already
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provided.
This
case can lead to
good
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a good
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impact
for
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on
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the
student
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students
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as they need to learn to make
a
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apply
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decissions
Correct your spelling
decision
decisions
.
In addition
, as we live far from our family, we are forced to have
a
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apply
show examples
better
time
management. For
examples
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example
show examples
, when I have a morning class at 7a.m. I need to set up my alarm and make sure I get up on
time
, I need to calculate how much
time
I
required
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am required
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to go to campus to make sure I do not attend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
class late, and I
also
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am also
show examples
responsible for everything I will wear. These simple things can make us manage our
time
better, as we need to provide everything we need by ourselves.
However
, living alone in a dormitory or boarding house
also
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
disadvantages
such
as lack of assistance
of
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from
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our
parents
, as
in
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at
show examples
this
ages
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age
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, we still need their guidance. In
additions
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addition
show examples
, we
also
need to consider some other important
thing
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things
show examples
such
as health
issue
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issues
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that students may have.
To sum up
, I believe that living far from
parents
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our parents
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while
pursuing
our
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a
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higher degree has
so much
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many
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advantages rather than disadvantages. In my opinion, I
also
believe that by living alone, students can gain a valuable memory and lessons as they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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truly live in real society.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Language Use
Try to vary your sentence structures and use a wider range of vocabulary. This will help to make your writing more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
Structure
Ensure a clear distinction between paragraphs by beginning each new main idea with a topic sentence. This helps to guide the reader through your argument more clearly.
Conclusion
Include a brief conclusion that summarises your main points and restates your opinion. This reinforces your argument and provides a clear resolution to your essay.
Task Response
Your essay presents a well-balanced view, considering both advantages and disadvantages before stating a clear opinion. This is excellent for Task Achievement.
Examples
You provide specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument and makes it more convincing.
Coherence
The logical flow from one paragraph to the next is good, showing that you can organize ideas in a coherent manner.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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