In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #university #students #home #study #city

While

in some countries university students choose to live with their

parents

at home, some

other's

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others

show examples

choose to live far from their

family

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families

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while

they pursue their higher

degree

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degrees

show examples

. In my opinion, living far from our

parents

bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

show examples

much

Fix the agreement mistake

many

show examples

more advantages rather than living with our

parents

such

as growth

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in student's

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student's

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student

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responsibility,

problem solving

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problem-solving

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, and

also

time

management which I will

ellaborate

Correct your spelling

elaborate

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about in

show examples

the following paragraph. As we live far from our family, it is the best

time

for us to shift ourselves into a survival mode. In

additions

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addition

show examples

, living far from the family can make us as

student

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students

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becoming

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become

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more responsible with everything related to our

life

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lives

show examples

For instance

, when I live with my mother I never think

what

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about what

show examples

food I want to eat as it

already

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is already

show examples

provided.

This

case can lead to

good

Correct article usage

a good

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impact

for

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show examples

the

student

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students

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as they need to learn to make

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

decissions

Correct your spelling

decision

decisions

In addition

, as we live far from our family, we are forced to have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

better

time

management. For

examples

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example

show examples

, when I have a morning class at 7a.m. I need to set up my alarm and make sure I get up on

time

, I need to calculate how much

time

required

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am required

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to go to campus to make sure I do not attend

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

class late, and I

also

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am also

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responsible for everything I will wear. These simple things can make us manage our

time

better, as we need to provide everything we need by ourselves.

However

, living alone in a dormitory or boarding house

also

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

disadvantages

such

as lack of assistance

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from

show examples

our

parents

, as

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show examples

this

ages

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age

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, we still need their guidance. In

additions

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addition

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, we

also

need to consider some other important

thing

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things

show examples

such

as health

issue

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issues

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that students may have.

To sum up

, I believe that living far from

parents

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our parents

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while

pursuing

our

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show examples

higher degree has

so much

Correct word choice

many

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advantages rather than disadvantages. In my opinion, I

also

believe that by living alone, students can gain a valuable memory and lessons as they

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

truly live in real society.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Tue Apr 30 2024

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Language Use

Try to vary your sentence structures and use a wider range of vocabulary. This will help to make your writing more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.

Structure

Ensure a clear distinction between paragraphs by beginning each new main idea with a topic sentence. This helps to guide the reader through your argument more clearly.

Conclusion

Include a brief conclusion that summarises your main points and restates your opinion. This reinforces your argument and provides a clear resolution to your essay.

Task Response

Your essay presents a well-balanced view, considering both advantages and disadvantages before stating a clear opinion. This is excellent for Task Achievement.

Examples

You provide specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument and makes it more convincing.

Coherence

The logical flow from one paragraph to the next is good, showing that you can organize ideas in a coherent manner.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

340 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

independence
self-reliance
finance management
exposure
broaden horizons
open-minded
adaptability
conducive environment
isolation
homesickness
financial burden
household duties
academic responsibilities
personal growth

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In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that studying at university or collage is the best route to a successful career. While others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In spite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything of they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?