IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

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While
Linking Words
 in some countries university students choose to live with their
parents
Use synonyms
 at home, some
other's
Change noun form
others
show examples
 choose to live far from their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
while
Linking Words
 they pursue their higher
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
. In my opinion, living far from our
parents
Use synonyms
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
show examples
 more advantages rather than living with our
parents
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as growth
Change preposition
in student's
show examples
student's
Change noun form
student
show examples
 responsibility,
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
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, and
also
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 management which I will
ellaborate
Correct your spelling
elaborate
 more
in
Change preposition
about in
show examples
 the following paragraph. As we live far from our family, it is the best
time
Use synonyms
 for us to shift ourselves into a survival mode. In
additions
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addition
show examples
, living far from the family can make us as
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 more responsible with everything related to our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
For instance
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, when I live with my mother I never think
what
Change preposition
about what
show examples
 food I want to eat as it
already
Add a missing verb
is already
show examples
 provided.
This
Linking Words
 case can lead to
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 as they need to learn to make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
decissions
Correct your spelling
decision
decisions
.
In addition
Linking Words
, as we live far from our family, we are forced to have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better
time
Use synonyms
 management. For
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
show examples
, when I have a morning class at 7a.m. I need to set up my alarm and make sure I get up on
time
Use synonyms
, I need to calculate how much
time
Use synonyms
 I
required
Add a missing verb
am required
show examples
 to go to campus to make sure I do not attend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
class late, and I
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
am also
show examples
 responsible for everything I will wear. These simple things can make us manage our
time
Use synonyms
 better, as we need to provide everything we need by ourselves.
However
Linking Words
, living alone in a dormitory or boarding house
also
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 disadvantages
such
Linking Words
 as lack of assistance
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 our
parents
Use synonyms
, as
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
this
Linking Words
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
, we still need their guidance. In
additions
Fix the agreement mistake
addition
show examples
, we
also
Linking Words
 need to consider some other important
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as health
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 that students may have.
To sum up
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, I believe that living far from
Use synonyms
parents
Correct pronoun usage
our parents
show examples
while
Linking Words
 pursuing
our
Change the word
a
show examples
 higher degree has
so much
Correct word choice
many
show examples
 advantages rather than disadvantages. In my opinion, I
also
Linking Words
 believe that by living alone, students can gain a valuable memory and lessons as they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
truly live in real society.

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Language Use
Try to vary your sentence structures and use a wider range of vocabulary. This will help to make your writing more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
Structure
Ensure a clear distinction between paragraphs by beginning each new main idea with a topic sentence. This helps to guide the reader through your argument more clearly.
Conclusion
Include a brief conclusion that summarises your main points and restates your opinion. This reinforces your argument and provides a clear resolution to your essay.
Task Response
Your essay presents a well-balanced view, considering both advantages and disadvantages before stating a clear opinion. This is excellent for Task Achievement.
Examples
You provide specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument and makes it more convincing.
Coherence
The logical flow from one paragraph to the next is good, showing that you can organize ideas in a coherent manner.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
What to do next:
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