In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?
While
in some countries university students choose to live with their parents
at home, some other's
choose to live far from their Change noun form
others
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
while
they pursue their higher degree
. In my opinion, living far from our Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
parents
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
much
more advantages rather than living with our Fix the agreement mistake
many
parents
, such
as growth Change preposition
in student's
student's
responsibility, Change noun form
student
problem solving
, and Add a hyphen
problem-solving
also
time
management which I will ellaborate
more Correct your spelling
elaborate
in
the following paragraph.
As we live far from our family, it is the best Change preposition
about in
time
for us to shift ourselves into a survival mode. In additions
, living far from the family can make us as Fix the agreement mistake
addition
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
becoming
more responsible with everything related to our Wrong verb form
become
life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
For instance
, when I live with my mother I never think what
food I want to eat as it Change preposition
about what
already
provided. Add a missing verb
is already
This
case can lead to good
impact Correct article usage
a good
for
the Change preposition
on
student
as they need to learn to make Fix the agreement mistake
students
a
Correct article usage
apply
decissions
. Correct your spelling
decision
decisions
In addition
, as we live far from our family, we are forced to have a
better Remove the article
apply
time
management. For examples
, when I have a morning class at 7a.m. I need to set up my alarm and make sure I get up on Fix the agreement mistake
example
time
, I need to calculate how much time
I required
to go to campus to make sure I do not attend Add a missing verb
am required
the
class late, and I Correct article usage
apply
also
responsible for everything I will wear. These simple things can make us manage our Add a missing verb
am also
time
better, as we need to provide everything we need by ourselves.
However
, living alone in a dormitory or boarding house also
have
disadvantages Correct subject-verb agreement
has
such
as lack of assistance of
our Change preposition
from
parents
, as in
Change preposition
at
this
ages
, we still need their guidance. In Fix the agreement mistake
age
additions
, we Fix the agreement mistake
addition
also
need to consider some other important thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
such
as health issue
that students may have.
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
To sum up
, I believe that living far from parents
Correct pronoun usage
our parents
while
pursuing our
higher degree has Change the word
a
so much
advantages rather than disadvantages. In my opinion, I Correct word choice
many
also
believe that by living alone, students can gain a valuable memory and lessons as they are
truly live in real society.Unnecessary verb
apply
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Language Use
Try to vary your sentence structures and use a wider range of vocabulary. This will help to make your writing more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
Structure
Ensure a clear distinction between paragraphs by beginning each new main idea with a topic sentence. This helps to guide the reader through your argument more clearly.
Conclusion
Include a brief conclusion that summarises your main points and restates your opinion. This reinforces your argument and provides a clear resolution to your essay.
Task Response
Your essay presents a well-balanced view, considering both advantages and disadvantages before stating a clear opinion. This is excellent for Task Achievement.
Examples
You provide specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument and makes it more convincing.
Coherence
The logical flow from one paragraph to the next is good, showing that you can organize ideas in a coherent manner.