Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.
A number of
people
perveived
that modern Correct your spelling
perceived
perceive
technology
has a big impact on the connection between people
. It is the opinion of this
writer that these technological devices
such
as instagram
or Change the capitalization
Instagram
messenger
make a big contribution to Capitalize word
Messenger
bring
Wrong verb form
bringing
people
together while
its
intriguing content and affordability are 2 elements that support the opposite view.
It is essential to understand that the accelerating development of Correct pronoun usage
their
technology
has paved the way for convenient interaction due to
the salient features of many social apps. To exemplify, think about the abilities
Fix the agreement mistake
ability
of making
a video call or Replace the preposition
to make
sending
messages from Wrong verb form
send
this
place to other remote places in the world
which are provided by these media platforms. As a result
, this
will assist people
who live away from their home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
keep
in touch with family. From that, these apps are capable of enhancing Fix the infinitive
to keep
the
camaraderie and fostering a sense of closeness despite physical distances.
Correct article usage
apply
However
, many people
think that modern technology
is a core factor in widening the gap between people
. They believe that these technological devices
provide not only some useful features and attractive content but also
an adequate service that can satisfy high
demand of Add an article
the high
people
, making people
immerse themselve
into these Correct your spelling
themselves
devices
for a long time. As the
result of Correct article usage
a
this
, people
have a propensity for enjoying
their own Change preposition
to enjoy
world
by overusing the
Change the word
their
smartphone
leading to Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
lack
of face-to-face conversations
and feelings of isolation. They are right to a certain extent, but Correct article usage
a lack
in
another perspective, using Change preposition
from
smartphone
can help Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
people
to
get access to the news throughout the Verb problem
apply
world
that
will lead to building a deep connection with the Correct pronoun usage
which
world
. Moreover
, smartphones can also
assist people
to stay in touch with people
who live far away from them. Despite these features, people
should balance their relationship
both Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
on
the media and Change preposition
in
on
daily life by stringently limiting the time using Change preposition
in
smartphone
to have more effective Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
communications
.
In my opinion, smartphones actually drive Fix the agreement mistake
communication
people
apart due to
the
individual affordability. Correct article usage
apply
This
is due to
the fact that not everyone has equal access to modern technology
because of its extravagant price. As a consequence
, those without technology
are at a disadvantage in terms of acquiring knowledge and are capable of falling behind in the modernisational
society. Correct word choice
modern
Moreover
, this
will lead to a big difference in the mind set
between Correct your spelling
mindset
people
exposuring
to Correct your spelling
exposure
exposing
the
high Correct article usage
apply
technology
and those who not
which is an obstacle Add a missing verb
do not
in
connecting with each other.
Taking all points into account, it is evident that its attractive content and affordability Change preposition
to
is
2 elements that make modern Correct subject-verb agreement
are
technology
can drive people
apart. Hence
, it should have been shown that these modern devices
are able to widen the gap between people
.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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opinion consistency
Ensure clarity and consistency in expressing your opinion throughout the essay. Introducing your personal viewpoint towards the end may confuse readers; it's beneficial to clearly state it in the introduction for cohesiveness.
example elaboration
Expand on your examples by detailing how technology impacts relationships specifically. Mentioning apps like Instagram or Messenger is good, but further elaboration on their role would enhance your argument.
grammatical accuracy
Be mindful of grammatical accuracy and varied sentence structures to improve readability and the overall flow of the essay. While minor inaccuracies are present, refining these aspects will elevate your writing.
transition
Work on the transition between ideas and paragraphs for smoother cohesion. Using linking words effectively can guide the reader through your arguments more fluidly.
topic engagement
Your essay engages well with the topic, discussing both viewpoints and providing a conclusion that reflects your own viewpoint.
example usage
You successfully incorporated relevant examples and scenarios to back up your points, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
structure
The structure of your essay, with clear paragraphs for introduction, each viewpoint, and conclusion, aids in the overall coherence and cohesion of your response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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