Gender equality has not been achieved in our society. Women still do not have the same rights and opportunities as men. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
While
allegations are going on, Gender discrimination is still an issue and the public has not accepted the fact of equal rights. I disagree with the above statement and let me explain in detail my opinion in the following paragraphs including examples.
To begin
with, as the generations pass pupil's way of thinking has changed. For instance
, back in the 1900's women were meant to take care of household chores whereas
, men were the only people for the source of income. This
has changed in the past ten years, today girls can pursue their dreams and lead successful life. Parents are allowing their girls to be sent abroad and supported as a rock. The majority of the companies are run by strong female personalities such
as Nykaa, and Sugar in India.
On the other hand
, women are also
welcomed in other sectors such
as civil services. For example
, In India, more than 50% of civil positions are taken by female candidates. In addition
to that, even the president of India is a woman which indeed is a great pride to the whole nation. Companies are providing maternity leave to support female employees in their hard times. Despite all these, few jobs are indeed meant only for men. It is because of their safety concerns.
In conclusion, I would like to say that I disagree that as years pass women are getting the same respect and rights as men. They have to accept that even and respect the government in this
issue.Submitted by sunj on
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Task Achievement
Ensure a clear position throughout the essay. It seems you both agree and disagree with the statement, which can be confusing. Maintain a consistent viewpoint to meet the task requirement fully.
Task Achievement
Develop ideas thoroughly. Some points could be expanded with more detail and explanation to demonstrate a deeper understanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of the essay. Some parts seem disjointed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check the clarity and relevance of the introduction and conclusion. Ensure that they align with the body of the essay and clearly express your viewpoint.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. General statements can be made stronger with specific anecdotal or factual evidence.