IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

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In modern times, individuals prefer to have their own company and
work
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 for themselves rather than join an organisation. I believe
this
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 thing is
due to
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 the fact that working for yourself is much easier and has some cons for individuals which no one can deny,
however
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, there are some pros which need to be discussed like a lack of
salary
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 and no
insurance
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.
To begin
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 with, these days, a number of
people
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 decided to have their own business,
this
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 thing was because of some advantages which self-employed have. One of these advantages is, by being self-employed,
people
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 can
work
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 whenever they want
moreover
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, they can consider more free time for themselves. Another major benefit of having your own business is that
people
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 can select whomever they want to
work
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 with, when someone works for a company, they have a lot of co-workers who are very annoying and bother
people
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 all the time,
consequently
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, those
people
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 create a very disturbing atmosphere for other employees; especially some bosses are very strict. Admittedly, there are some negative points for
this
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 notion which we cannot ignore. The first drawback is that
,
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apply
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 it requires a lot of budget to organise a business, which means
people
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 need enough money to rent a place, equipment, and
also
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, for hiring some staff.
In addition
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, after being self-employed some
people
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 might not get a
salary
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 or get a lower
salary
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 which can cause money issues. Another drawback is that
,
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apply
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 some
people
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 by
working
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work
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 for an organisation get health
insurance
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 and other
insurance
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 which are very beneficial for them, self-employed do not have those insurances, especially in the first years of their
work
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.
For instance
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, Google company give their employees health
insurance
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 and with that, all their health services are almost free.
To sum up
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, nowadays, we
witnessed
Wrong verb form
witness
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 that the number of self-employers increased dramatically
,
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apply
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 because these jobs make individuals feel at ease and
also
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 give them
this
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 opportunity to choose their own colleagues,
while
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 not having
insurance
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 and not enough
salary
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 can be the
disadvantages
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantage
show examples
 of being self-employed.

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Grammar & Vocabulary
Focus on enhancing the complexity and variety in your sentence structures. Integrating a wider range of grammatical structures and vocabulary can enrich your expressions and make your arguments more compelling.
Development of Ideas
Consider developing your arguments more fully by providing more detailed examples and explanations. Depth in your discussion not only enriches your essay but also demonstrates a higher level of engagement with the topic.
Accuracy
Be mindful of minor inaccuracies in grammar and word choice. While these don't significantly impact the overall clarity, refining these aspects can polish your essay further.
Task Response
You effectively addressed both parts of the prompt, engaging with the reasons for self-employment, as well as its disadvantages.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphs and logical progression of ideas, which aids in reader comprehension.
Examples
You provided concrete examples to support your points, which helps to ground your arguments in reality and makes them more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
What to do next:
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