Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
In modern times, individuals prefer to have their own company and
work
for themselves rather than join an organisation. I believe this
thing is due to
the fact that working for yourself is much easier and has some cons for individuals which no one can deny, however
, there are some pros which need to be discussed like a lack of salary
and no insurance
.
To begin
with, these days, a number of people
decided to have their own business, this
thing was because of some advantages which self-employed have. One of these advantages is, by being self-employed, people
can work
whenever they want moreover
, they can consider more free time for themselves.
Another major benefit of having your own business is that people
can select whomever they want to work
with, when someone works for a company, they have a lot of co-workers who are very annoying and bother people
all the time, consequently
, those people
create a very disturbing atmosphere for other employees; especially some bosses are very strict.
Admittedly, there are some negative points for this
notion which we cannot ignore.
The first drawback is that,
it requires a lot of budget to organise a business, which means Remove the comma
apply
people
need enough money to rent a place, equipment, and also
, for hiring some staff. In addition
, after being self-employed some people
might not get a salary
or get a lower salary
which can cause money issues.
Another drawback is that,
some Remove the comma
apply
people
by working
for an organisation get health Wrong verb form
work
insurance
and other insurance
which are very beneficial for them, self-employed do not have those insurances, especially in the first years of their work
.
For instance
, Google company give their employees health insurance
and with that, all their health services are almost free.
To sum up
, nowadays, we witnessed
that the number of self-employers increased dramaticallyWrong verb form
witness
,
because these jobs make individuals feel at ease and Remove the comma
apply
also
give them this
opportunity to choose their own colleagues, while
not having insurance
and not enough salary
can be the disadvantages
of being self-employed.Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantage
Submitted by abbasisarina340 on
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Grammar & Vocabulary
Focus on enhancing the complexity and variety in your sentence structures. Integrating a wider range of grammatical structures and vocabulary can enrich your expressions and make your arguments more compelling.
Development of Ideas
Consider developing your arguments more fully by providing more detailed examples and explanations. Depth in your discussion not only enriches your essay but also demonstrates a higher level of engagement with the topic.
Accuracy
Be mindful of minor inaccuracies in grammar and word choice. While these don't significantly impact the overall clarity, refining these aspects can polish your essay further.
Task Response
You effectively addressed both parts of the prompt, engaging with the reasons for self-employment, as well as its disadvantages.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphs and logical progression of ideas, which aids in reader comprehension.
Examples
You provided concrete examples to support your points, which helps to ground your arguments in reality and makes them more persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.