Education is not a luxury, but a basic human right and as such should be free for everyone irrespective of personal wealth. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, the number of private schools is growing rapidly. Many people believe that private school’s curriculum is better than state schools and wealthy individuals send their offspring to private schools.
However
, it is agreed that schooling should be free for everybody irrespective of personal wealth. Inequality of study negatively affects offspring’s development and their futures.
Firstly
, equally educated offspring can improve their countries in many ways. For example
, if a wealthy child and a poor child get the same schooling in their institute lives, they can compete with each other to prove themselves better than each other and this
competition’s outcome can be inventing useful devices for their country. However
, if only rich offspring got a good schooling, there would not be competition and even wealthy children would not create something. Thus
, equal, and free schooling can push offspring to create something to help their countries.
Secondly
, free teaching for people would be helpful for families mentally. For instance
, sometimes unwealthy families struggle to send their offspring to an institute because of the difference between state and private school schooling systems, this
negatively affects their mentality, and they suffer from depression. However
, if poor families send their children to an academy with an equal educational curriculum, their mentality would be healthier. There, free teaching has increased families’ mental health.
In conclusion, providing free study for everybody has positive effects on offspring. Therefore
, a paid educational system cannot be accepted. It is clear that
, if schooling can be free to everyone, children make a better future for themselves, and they will be happier for getting free and equal study.Submitted by atakantemizkan0 on
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Vocabulary Enrichment
Consider diversifying your vocabulary to avoid repetition of words like 'offspring', 'free', and 'schooling'. Try to use synonyms or varied expressions to enrich your text.
Linking Words Usage
To enhance coherence, create smoother transitions between paragraphs. This can be achieved by using a wider range of linking words and phrases that not only show the relationship between ideas but also guide the reader through your argument.
Breadth of Support
For even stronger task achievement, include a broader range of examples and evidence. This could involve citing specific studies, historical examples, or hypothetical scenarios that more concretely support your points.
Argument Clarity
The essay presents a clear, consistent argument in favor of free education for all, demonstrating strong task achievement.
Structure
You've effectively used an introduction and conclusion to frame your argument, helping the reader understand the main points and your position on them.
Example Use
Your use of examples, like the potential competition between wealthy and poor children, is a good strategy to support your main points, though could be further diversified.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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