IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Are all fathers entitled to have work-off when they have new born.

#fathers #work-off
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Nowadays, it is often argued that parents
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 to have
time-off
Correct your spelling
time off
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 when the mother
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 birth. In my opinion, I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement for many reasons that will be discussed in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the new infant is a big responsibility for both the
father
Use synonyms
 and the mother. They have to look after the child, as a new system has to be put
on
Change preposition
in
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 the house. The
father
Use synonyms
 is responsible in law that he
Change the verb form
has
show examples
have
Add the particle
have to
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 register his child in a healthcare system,
police
Correct word choice
and police
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registeration
Correct your spelling
registration
 and have to sign for a birth
certifcate
Correct your spelling
certificate
 for his child.
For example
Linking Words
,
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 government
in
Change preposition
of
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 Kuwait, the
father
Use synonyms
 has to register his toddler in all necessary sectors, as mentioned above, everything
that is
Linking Words
 related to the kid will be put in the
Use synonyms
father
Change noun form
father's
show examples
responsibilties
Correct your spelling
responsibility
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
Submitted by noranaldhafiri on

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Task Achievement
Ensure your essay has a clear conclusion that wraps up your argument. This helps in reinforcing your position and giving the reader a sense of closure.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve your coherence, consider adding more linking words to connect your ideas more smoothly and make transitions between sentences and paragraphs more natural.
Task Achievement
You've effectively introduced your topic and clearly stated your position, which is a good practice for task achievement.
Task Achievement
You support your points with specific examples, which strengthens your argument. Keep using real-world examples to make your points more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
You maintained a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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