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Writing Samples
Band 8

Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

#happiness #life #factors
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It is said that happiness is one of the most significant feelings in life. Some consider that it can be defined as wealth and material success
while
 others believe that it is emotions and relationships between individuals, which is why it is very controversial to define.
Firstly
, felicity can be explained in various ways and its definition depends on a person and his or her perspective on lifetime.
However
, happy people are those who accomplish their goals by taking all the opportunities and having good relations with family and friends. First of all, when you truly believe in your dreams and do your best to make them come true is the most fulfilling thing in life.
For example
, I have always wanted to study in the United Kingdom and at the moment I am determined to prepare for the IELTS and GMAT exams when I pass them I will go to university and I will be over the moon,
that is
 why I do the utmost for my dream to become true.
Secondly
, genuine relationships with family and friends have an impact on felicity. As for me, those people are the most valuable individuals I have ever met. So, you can be well-off, but if you do not have true mates or you don’t get on well with your closest relatives, you will not be joyful, because those are the most loyal people who will help you with any problems.
Also
, they will be with you forever, regardless of how much money you have. As an example, I want to mention something from my life. I had some issues with my job, and I was close to being fired. So, I was very stressed and only my parents and friends believed in me and came to my place to support me in that difficult situation.
Therefore
, I realised at that moment what genuine relations and joy are.
Overall
, I think the ability to keep clear perspectives and be good with closet individuals are more essential factors than being wealthy and are a source of true happiness.
Submitted by edmond.avakyan98 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion score, consider more varied and complex transition phrases to smoothly connect ideas and paragraphs. Additionally, ensure each paragraph distinctly advances your argument in a structured manner, beginning with a clear topic sentence and followed by supporting details.
Task Response
For task achievement, ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the prompt comprehensively. To improve, practice developing more nuanced arguments and explore different dimensions of the topic in greater depth. Incorporate a broader range of examples and evidence to support your points, demonstrating a thorough understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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