Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some
individual
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individuals
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thought that the best way to collaborate
different
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with different
show examples
cultures and ages together is
by
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through
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music
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. I believe that
music
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can benefit a lot to our entire world. Melody can cross the barriers
from
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of
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various languages.
Although
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we do not understand the meaning of
forieng
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foreign
lyrics, we do feel the emotion revealed from every
chords
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chord
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.
Rhyme
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Rhymes
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compose
Wrong verb form
composed
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by
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of
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many chords
also
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express certain
emotion
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emotions
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. Once we feel touched by the melody, we want to understand the story
behind
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behind it
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.
For example
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, my favorite singer comes from
korea
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Korea
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and I do not even know a word in
korea
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Korea
show examples
.
However
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, I
deeply
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am deeply
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attracted by her
music
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, especially when I face tough
choice
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choices
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in my life. The excellent
music
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still gets attention after decades. Even more,
poeple
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people
cherish the
song
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songs
show examples
they like and share
to
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with
show examples
their children and grandchildren. In
this
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way,
music
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become a common language between different
generation
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generations
show examples
.
For instance
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, There are many
song
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songs
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in my playlist
is
Wrong verb form
that were
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released before I
born
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was born
show examples
. The reason how I got familiar with them is
because
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that
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my father always
play
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plays
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the same song
while
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his driving. In conclusion, it is indeed that
music
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leads
a
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to a
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successful collusion of different cultures and ages. No matter is excellent
music
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made by composers or classic songs passed by several generations.
Submitted by yushin20020625 on

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development
Try to expand on your ideas by providing more detailed explanations and a wider range of examples. This will strengthen your argument and make your viewpoint clearer.
lexical resource
Work on varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary to accurately express your ideas. This will enhance the clarity and impact of your writing.
structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main points and viewpoint. This aids the reader in understanding your stance from the beginning and summarizing it at the end.
accuracy
Pay attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammatical accuracy to minimize errors that can detract from the coherence of your essay.
examples
You effectively used personal examples to support your points, which adds credibility and interest to your essay.
structure
Your essay demonstrates a good structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task response
You've chosen a relevant and engaging topic and presented a clear perspective, which engages the reader and meets the task requirements.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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