Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Some
individual
thought that the best way to collaborate Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
different
cultures and ages together is Change preposition
with different
by
Change preposition
through
music
. I believe that music
can benefit a lot to our entire world.
Melody can cross the barriers from
various languages. Change preposition
of
Although
we do not understand the meaning of forieng
lyrics, we do feel the emotion revealed from every Correct your spelling
foreign
chords
. Change to a singular noun
chord
Rhyme
Fix the agreement mistake
Rhymes
compose
Wrong verb form
composed
by
many chords Change preposition
of
also
express certain emotion
. Once we feel touched by the melody, we want to understand the story Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
behind
. Correct pronoun usage
behind it
For example
, my favorite singer comes from korea
and I do not even know a word in Change the capitalization
Korea
korea
. Change the capitalization
Korea
However
, I deeply
attracted by her Add a missing verb
am deeply
music
, especially when I face tough choice
in my life.
The excellent Fix the agreement mistake
choices
music
still gets attention after decades. Even more, poeple
cherish the Correct your spelling
people
song
they like and share Fix the agreement mistake
songs
to
their children and grandchildren. In Change preposition
with
this
way, music
become a common language between different generation
. Fix the agreement mistake
generations
For instance
, There are many song
in my playlist Change to a plural noun
songs
is
released before I Wrong verb form
that were
born
. The reason how I got familiar with them is Add a missing verb
was born
because
my father always Replace the word
that
play
the same song Change the verb form
plays
while
his driving.
In conclusion, it is indeed that music
leads a
successful collusion of different cultures and ages. No matter is excellent Change preposition
to a
music
made by composers or classic songs passed by several generations.Submitted by yushin20020625 on
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development
Try to expand on your ideas by providing more detailed explanations and a wider range of examples. This will strengthen your argument and make your viewpoint clearer.
lexical resource
Work on varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary to accurately express your ideas. This will enhance the clarity and impact of your writing.
structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main points and viewpoint. This aids the reader in understanding your stance from the beginning and summarizing it at the end.
accuracy
Pay attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammatical accuracy to minimize errors that can detract from the coherence of your essay.
examples
You effectively used personal examples to support your points, which adds credibility and interest to your essay.
structure
Your essay demonstrates a good structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task response
You've chosen a relevant and engaging topic and presented a clear perspective, which engages the reader and meets the task requirements.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.