Young people are often influenced in their behaviors by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?
In adolescence, various
behaviours
are had by youngsters ranging from good or bad behaviours
. These behaviours
of young people of the same age are able to affect others. Some believe that peer
pressure
is necessary, while
others feel this
can bring adverse effects. Despite the advantages, the disadvantages of this
issue are more significant.
Social pressure
plays an important role in the growth of individuals and can spur motivation to achieve goals. Peer
pressure
that has been successful in achieving his or her goals can make us more passionate about what we want to achieve. Furthermore
, seeing the kind nature of our friends can encourage our behaviour towards better things
, such
as studying hard, being consistent in doing sports, or getting involved in community service.
Young people are often influenced in their behaviour by others because they want to fit in with their friends. However
, peer
pressure
can lead to negative behaviours
such
as drug abuse or risky activities. This
is done simply because they want to be accepted into a group of the same age. In addition
, peer
pressure
from academic achievers can set the standard for success. For example
, parents often compare and force us to follow the achievements of friends our age who excel in academics, but on the other hand
, we master things
in non-academic fields. This
makes us depressed and not focused on doing the things
we love.
In conclusion, it seems to me that the disadvantages of this
issue are more significant. This
includes peer
pressure
, which can lead to negative behaviours
such
as drug abuse or risky activities and make us depressed and not focused on doing the things
we love.Submitted by bonarpasaribuu on
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example clarity and development
Clarify and expand on your examples to strengthen your argument. While you've provided scenarios where peer pressure leads to both positive and negative outcomes, going into greater detail about these examples could offer a deeper understanding of their impact.
grammar and style
Be cautious with the use of passive voice ('behaviours are had by youngsters') as it can make sentences harder to read. Active voice often makes your argument more direct and engaging.
introduction
Effective opening that introduces the topic and your stance clearly.
structure
Good structuring of paragraphs with a clear distinction between the advantages and disadvantages of peer pressure.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument, reinforcing your stance that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?