The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.

Gone are those days when having a mainstream career
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
enough to live a good life. Nowadays, people prefer to do multiple degrees and have numerous sources of earnings to be able to be sure of living above average lifestyle and equally secure their future retirement plan. I am wholeheartedly in support of
this
trend as
this
offers several benefits to people. To commence with, there are folks who disagree with the view of having various income sources and take extra courses in different fields to broaden
one
’s knowledge and skills and they have few points to back up their reason.
First,
the individual engaging in
such
pursuit termed “hustling” in the street words ,
is having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
many employers which could be quite mentally and physically draining.
Reason
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The reason
show examples
is that, working for more than
once
Correct your spelling
one
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employer puts the individual under a continuously stressful daily routine, unfavourable lack of time for self-care, lack of effort, and reduced quality input at work.
However
,
this
school of thought argues that to the attainment of high-yielding positions,
one
requires better academic qualifications which results
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the never-ending need and pursuit for
further
education.
On the other hand
, the supporters of
this
trend of opting for diverse income sources opined that it is a positive development in human life.
To begin
, it helps to ensure
one
achieves job security since the person will be prepared financially for easy adaptation in the midst of constant economic inflation. Take content creation
for instance
, it has enabled folks to showcase their creative side on social media platforms and in return they are earning loads of money
along with
their regular jobs.
As a result
, they are ready to put extra effort for the first few years in multiple fields rather than sitting idle and waiting for themselves to be rich. In conclusion, relying on
one
single employment is an outdated notion, the world is progressing faster and so are the human. I agree with the fact that
one
should gain some knowledge in various fields to open up paths for financial growth which will help
one
to adjust to the economic inflation trend, and
also
achieve job security.
Submitted by praveenmodi28596 on

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Language and style
To further improve, consider integrating more varied and complex sentence structures throughout the essay for enhanced readability and to demonstrate advanced language proficiency. This strategy also helps to maintain the reader's interest and engagement with your ideas.
Vocabulary
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic. This will not only enrich your essay but also show your ability to express complex ideas fluently and accurately, which is essential for achieving a higher band score.
Relevance and Development
While supporting your points with examples is effective, strive to ensure that these examples are as specific and relevant as possible. Doing so will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
Task response
The essay effectively discusses the topic, presenting a clear viewpoint and arguing in favor of the trend towards multiple careers and lifelong learning.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with a logical flow of ideas from the introduction through to the conclusion. This structure aids reader comprehension and engagement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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