Many jobs used to be done at home by hand, but now a days an increasing number of them are done using machines instead. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development.

#jobs #home #hand #machines #development

With the 4.0 era, technologies have become more common in several

jobs

by using modern

machines

while

using people's abilities for doing

jobs

was applied a lot in the previous decades.

This

essay will explain both the benefits and drawbacks which come with

this

situation. On the one hand,

machines

can do the job quickly and more accurately than humans do, with the result of higher quality products.

Also

replacing humans with

machines

, not only helps people to do

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

heavy or risky

jobs

but

also

reduces health problems and the risk of injury for

workers

. Having

machines

, many necessary facilities for humans' individual purposes can be steadily manufactured.

For example

although

sugar is essential in the daily routine, it takes a long time and consumes a lot of energy for

workers

However

machines

will help them to do all their work the whole day without consuming much power and energy.

Hence

machines

have many advantages in both agriculture and industry.

Although

there are some drawbacks when using

machines

, the main reason that leads to the minus point of using automation is the high cost. It cannot be ensured that those

machines

will work normally every day.There will be some errors or they may be broken down so that will lead to warranty and repair costs. The more

automations

Correct your spelling

automation

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

used the more

worker

Fix the agreement mistake

workers

show examples

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

unemployed. To prove

this

, there have been recent statistics on unemployed

workers

increasingly using high-tech machinery and equipment in their

jobs

Therefore

, it is

clearly

Change the word

clear

show examples

seen

Change the form of the verb

see

show examples

that there are some unexpectations and risks in the quality of products and personal reputation as well. In conclusion,

machinaries

Correct your spelling

machineries

bring many benefits in every aspect of

evey

Correct your spelling

every

job.

However

, it will make

workers

get no

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Wed May 01 2024

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Specific Examples

It would enrich your essay to include more specific examples to illustrate your points more vividly.

Transitions

Consider revising the essay to ensure that your transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs are smooth and logical.

Spelling/Grammar

Be cautious with spelling and grammatical errors, as they can impact the clarity of your argument. Proofreading can help minimize these.

Conclusion

Your conclusion could more explicitly summarize the advantages and disadvantages discussed, providing a clearer final stance or reflection on the balance between them.

Balanced View

Your essay provides a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of using machines in jobs, which meets the task requirement effectively.

Structure

You have a good structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for both views, and a conclusion, which aids in understanding.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

automation
efficiency
productivity
manual labor
hazardous jobs
initial investment
production costs
job displacement
skills gap
technical skills
reliance
vulnerabilities
breakdowns
cyber attacks
craftsmanship
artisanal skills
cultural heritage

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Many jobs used to be done at home by hand, but now a days an increasing number of them are done using machines instead. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

In today's world, technological devices are very common among students and they can be used for learning purposes in order to enhance their academic performance.

More and more plastic is polluting the city, countryside and ocean. What are the problems caused by plastic waste? What measures should be taken to solve these problems?

In schools and universities, girl tend to choose arts subjects, while boys choose science subjects. What is the reason? Should the trend be changed?

Primary education is said to have profound effects on the quality of secondary and tertiary education, so governments often try to take steps in order to enhance primary education in their countries. What, from your point of view, should be done to improve the quality of primary schools?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+