Many jobs used to be done at home by hand, but now a days an increasing number of them are done using machines instead. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development.

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With the 4.0 era, technologies have become more common in several
jobs
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by using modern
machines
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,
while
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using people's abilities for doing
jobs
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was applied a lot in the previous decades.
This
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essay will explain both the benefits and drawbacks which come with
this
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situation. On the one hand,
machines
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can do the job quickly and more accurately than humans do, with the result of higher quality products.
Also
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replacing humans with
machines
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, not only helps people to do
the
Correct article usage
apply
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heavy or risky
jobs
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but
also
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reduces health problems and the risk of injury for
workers
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. Having
machines
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, many necessary facilities for humans' individual purposes can be steadily manufactured.
For example
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,
although
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sugar is essential in the daily routine, it takes a long time and consumes a lot of energy for
workers
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.
However
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,
machines
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will help them to do all their work the whole day without consuming much power and energy.
Hence
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,
machines
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have many advantages in both agriculture and industry.
Although
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there are some drawbacks when using
machines
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, the main reason that leads to the minus point of using automation is the high cost. It cannot be ensured that those
machines
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will work normally every day.There will be some errors or they may be broken down so that will lead to warranty and repair costs. The more
automations
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automation
are
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is
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used the more
worker
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workers
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be
Wrong verb form
are
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unemployed. To prove
this
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, there have been recent statistics on unemployed
workers
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increasingly using high-tech machinery and equipment in their
jobs
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.
Therefore
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, it is
clearly
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clear
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to
seen
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see
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that there are some unexpectations and risks in the quality of products and personal reputation as well. In conclusion,
machinaries
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machineries
bring many benefits in every aspect of
evey
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every
job.
However
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, it will make
workers
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get no
job
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jobs
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.

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Specific Examples
It would enrich your essay to include more specific examples to illustrate your points more vividly.
Transitions
Consider revising the essay to ensure that your transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs are smooth and logical.
Spelling/Grammar
Be cautious with spelling and grammatical errors, as they can impact the clarity of your argument. Proofreading can help minimize these.
Conclusion
Your conclusion could more explicitly summarize the advantages and disadvantages discussed, providing a clearer final stance or reflection on the balance between them.
Balanced View
Your essay provides a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of using machines in jobs, which meets the task requirement effectively.
Structure
You have a good structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for both views, and a conclusion, which aids in understanding.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • manual labor
  • hazardous jobs
  • initial investment
  • production costs
  • job displacement
  • skills gap
  • technical skills
  • reliance
  • vulnerabilities
  • breakdowns
  • cyber attacks
  • craftsmanship
  • artisanal skills
  • cultural heritage
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