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Writing Samples
Band 7

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table illustrates the different
temperatures
Use synonyms
 and daylight hours in two different cities,
London
Use synonyms
 and
Sydney
Use synonyms
 on
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same weekend in December 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
Sydney
Use synonyms
 has the highest
temperatures
Use synonyms
 as compared to
London
Use synonyms
. The days in
London
Use synonyms
 are much shorter as compared to Syndey, which has early
sunrise
Fix the agreement mistake
sunrises
show examples
 and late sunsets. A
day
Use synonyms
 in
London
Use synonyms
 begins
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 minutes past 08:00 with the maximum temperature ranging between 9-10
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 Celcius, which is several times lower as compared to
Sydney
Use synonyms
 where the highest
temperatures
Use synonyms
 hover between 26-31
degrees
Use synonyms
. The
day
Use synonyms
 in
Sydney
Use synonyms
 lasts longer till around 20:06, which is much later as compared to the sunset timing in
London
Use synonyms
, which is around 16:00. The hottest
day
Use synonyms
 in
Sydney
Use synonyms
 was recorded on Sunday 30th with
temperatures
Use synonyms
 ranging until 31
degrees
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the hottest
day
Use synonyms
 in
London
Use synonyms
 had a temperature of only 13
degrees
Use synonyms
 on Saturday. The minimum temperature of both the locations varied alot from 3
degrees
Use synonyms
 in
London
Use synonyms
 to 17
degrees
Use synonyms
 in
Sydney
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words temperatures, london, sydney, day, degrees with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • temperatures
  • hours of daylight
  • comparison
  • London
  • Sydney
  • December 2018
  • weekend
  • information
  • data
  • summarise
  • select
  • report
  • features
  • analysis
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