Prison is the comman way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people a better education. Do you agree or disagree?

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Beberapa orang percaya
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dari mana saja di dunia. Di sisi lain,
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menerima laba atas investasinya.
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

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structure
You've structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that explore both sides of the argument, and a conclusion. This structure helps in effectively guiding the reader through your discussion.
content
Well done on providing clear and comprehensive ideas throughout your essay. This approach ensures that your arguments are understandable and persuasive.
examples
You've used relevant examples to support your main points, which greatly strengthens your argument. Keep ensuring that your examples are directly related to the topic for maximum impact.
vocabulary sentence structure
Consider including more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enrich your writing and more effectively engage your reader. This can also help to clarify and emphasize your points.
transition use
While you’ve done well in organizing your essay, using transitional phrases more effectively to link ideas and paragraphs could further enhance the coherence and flow of your writing.
structure
Structured approach to the essay presentation with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
content examples
The use of comprehensive ideas and relevant examples to support arguments.
balanced argument
Discussion of both sides of the argument showing a balanced approach to the question.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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