The chart below describes the source of electricity produced in four countries between 2003 and 2008

#source #electricity #four #countries

The pie charts illustrate

produced

Correct article usage

the produced

show examples

electricity origin in

India

Sweden

Morocco

and

Vietnam

from

Change preposition

between

show examples

2003 and 2008.

Overall

Morocco

and

Sweden

's electricity

production

majority based on Hydropower,

while

India

and

Vietnam

choose Fossil fuels. There are two

country

Change to a plural noun

countries

show examples

show highly similar results in their way of regenerating Hydropower, which

are

Change the verb form

show examples

Morocco

and

Sweden

with 95% and 52% respectively. Fossil fuel usage shows almost identical percentage values for both countries, with only a difference of 1% less in

Sweden

production

Besides

Morocco

Sweden

creates alternative

production

sources with Nuclear power which helps to generate almost 44% of the

country

's resources for utilities.

On the other hand

Vietnam

and

India

's usage of Fossil fuels. The current results,

India

has 79% of its fuel made by Fossil,

while

Vietnam

has 56% of the

country

's general

production

rate for electricity. Unlike

Vietnam

India

surpasses its competitors and contains all forms of energy materials to create the best from it. That affects the

country

production

with 14% Hydropowertransformation.Meanwhile, Nuclear fuel only captivates 7% .

Submitted by musayevjahangir on Wed May 01 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words india, sweden, morocco, vietnam, production, country with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

169 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart below describes the source of electricity produced in four countries between 2003 and 2008

Sending criminals to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them. Do you agree or disagree

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

Buying things on the internet such as book, air ticket and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages

More and more people are using computer and electric devices to access information, therefore there is no need for printed books, magazines and newspapers on paper. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look many differences from their home country. Nowadays, the sceneries in places all over the world are more and more similar. What are the causes of the similarities? Do you think the advantages of this similarity outweigh the disadvantages?