IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph shows the life expectancy of people living in Asian regions from 1950 and predicts life expectancy until 2300. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the life expectancy of people living in Asian regions from 1950 and predicts life expectancy until 2300. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#life #expectancy #people #asian #regions #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The information about the
life
expectancy
 of Asian
people
 from 1950 to 2300
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 shown in
this
 chart. There are six regions mentioned with their percentage.
Overall
, it is clearly seen that the
life
expectancy
 of
people
 of Eastern Asia was the largest percentile in all periods and will remain higher till 2300.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 other regions revealed the lower proportions. The maximum
life
expectancy
 of
people
 can be seen in Other Eastern Asia at around 30% in 1950, there was a rapid surge in 2000 to reach about 76%,
then
 , it will gradually increase throughout the periods and outrace the 100%.
On the other hand
, the
life
expectancy
 of
people
 in other regions remained almost at the same percentage rate. Only China was noticed, which rose to approximately 70% between 1950 to 2000.
While
 others were started from 40% in 1950 and noticed 65% in 2000. After that, it will a steady rise till 2300 and
reached
Wrong verb form
reach
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
90%.
Submitted by AP on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words life, expectancy, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: