Conducting sports events such as Olympics or World cup encourage people to live healthy. While some people indicate that there are various other methods to remain healthy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sports #events #olympics #world #cup #people #methods

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The one method encouraging individuals to live

healthy

Change the word

healthily

show examples

helding

Correct your spelling

holding

sports

Use synonyms

parties

such

Linking Words

Olympics

Correct article usage

the Olympics

show examples

World

Correct article usage

the World

show examples

cup

Capitalize word

Cup

show examples

however

Linking Words

, some argue that there are other

ways

Use synonyms

to stay healthy. I personally claim that the power of

sports

Use synonyms

events outweighs that of other

ways

Use synonyms

leads

Wrong verb form

lead

show examples

people

Use synonyms

to play

sports

Use synonyms

and have good health.

Firstly

Linking Words

, because of the popularity and

economical

Replace the word

economic

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influence,

Correct pronoun usage

there

show examples

is no doubt that

Olympics

Correct article usage

the Olympics

show examples

or other

sports

Use synonyms

events are crucial for

people

Use synonyms

, which typically

encourage

Correct subject-verb agreement

encourages

show examples

them to play the

sports

Use synonyms

. As an example,

World

Correct article usage

the World

show examples

cup

Capitalize word

Cup

show examples

is one of the most massive

sports

Use synonyms

programs

Use synonyms

in the world, and more than one billion spectators watch it every four years. Before and

After

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

event, football goods

Linking Words

such are

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

purchased twice as much as

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

normal, which means that numerous

people

Use synonyms

want

Wrong verb form

wanted

show examples

to play the sport.

Thus

Linking Words

, The influence of these

sports

Use synonyms

programs

Use synonyms

encourage

Correct subject-verb agreement

encourages

show examples

them to play

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

and stay healthy, and I agree with

this

Linking Words

opinion.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are other

ways

Use synonyms

to improve their health issues, including playing

sports

Use synonyms

with friends or communities. Since friends frequently become a

motiovation

Correct your spelling

motivation

for individuals to continue to play

sports

Use synonyms

like running.

For instance

Linking Words

, countless

Change preposition

apply

show examples

running groups

are existed

Change to the active voice

exist

have existed

show examples

in Japan, and they try to motivate each other. Runners in these communities normally continue running longer than those who do not participate in any group. In conclusion, even though

people

Use synonyms

are encouraged to play

sports

Use synonyms

and be healthy

Change preposition

show examples

some

ways

Use synonyms

except

sports

Use synonyms

events,

sports

Use synonyms

programs

Use synonyms

are super influential for them both economically and mentally.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I strongly believe that conducting

sports

Use synonyms

programs

Use synonyms

is definitely the most effective way to allow

people

Use synonyms

to be

good

Change preposition

in good

show examples

health.

Submitted by ryoga17.0325 on Thu May 02 2024

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Language Variety

Try to use a variety of sentence structures and more complex vocabulary to enhance your expression. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more engaging.

Paragraph Development

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within it support that idea. This sharpens your argument's focus and aids in coherence.

Grammar & Spelling

Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Proofreading can significantly improve clarity and the overall quality of your writing.

Example Specificity

Incorporate more detailed examples to support your points. Specific examples add depth to your arguments and make them more convincing.

Task Response

You effectively discussed both views and provided a clear opinion, aligning well with the essay task requirements.

Coherence & Cohesion

The logical flow between paragraphs is good, and the use of linking words enhances the coherence of the essay.

Introduction & Conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear overview and summarization of your stance.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Conducting sports events such as Olympics or World cup encourage people to live healthy. While some people indicate that there are various other methods to remain healthy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, working from home has become common in many companies due to technological advancements that allow employees to work from virtually any location.

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What effects will this have on society?

Increasingly, many young people are deciding to work or study in other countries. What are the causes of this phenomenon? Do you think it is a positive or negative situation?