Conducting sports events such as Olympics or World cup encourage people to live healthy. While some people indicate that there are various other methods to remain healthy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sports #events #olympics #world #cup #people #methods

The one method encouraging individuals to live

healthy

Change the word

healthily

show examples

helding

Correct your spelling

holding

sports

parties

such

Olympics

Correct article usage

the Olympics

show examples

World

Correct article usage

the World

show examples

cup

Capitalize word

Cup

show examples

however

, some argue that there are other

ways

to stay healthy. I personally claim that the power of

sports

events outweighs that of other

ways

leads

Wrong verb form

lead

show examples

people

to play

sports

and have good health.

Firstly

, because of the popularity and

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

influence,

Correct pronoun usage

there

show examples

is no doubt that

Olympics

Correct article usage

the Olympics

show examples

or other

sports

events are crucial for

people

, which typically

encourage

Correct subject-verb agreement

encourages

show examples

them to play the

sports

. As an example,

World

Correct article usage

the World

show examples

cup

Capitalize word

Cup

show examples

is one of the most massive

sports

programs

in the world, and more than one billion spectators watch it every four years. Before and

After

this

event, football goods

such are

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

purchased twice as much as

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

normal, which means that numerous

people

want

Wrong verb form

wanted

show examples

to play the sport.

Thus

, The influence of these

sports

programs

encourage

Correct subject-verb agreement

encourages

show examples

them to play

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports

and stay healthy, and I agree with

this

opinion.

On the other hand

, there are other

ways

to improve their health issues, including playing

sports

with friends or communities. Since friends frequently become a

motiovation

Correct your spelling

motivation

for individuals to continue to play

sports

like running.

For instance

, countless

Change preposition

apply

show examples

running groups

are existed

Change to the active voice

exist

have existed

show examples

in Japan, and they try to motivate each other. Runners in these communities normally continue running longer than those who do not participate in any group. In conclusion, even though

people

are encouraged to play

sports

and be healthy

Change preposition

show examples

some

ways

except

sports

events,

sports

programs

are super influential for them both economically and mentally.

Therefore

, I strongly believe that conducting

sports

programs

is definitely the most effective way to allow

people

to be

good

Change preposition

in good

show examples

health.

Submitted by ryoga17.0325 on Thu May 02 2024

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Language Variety

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Paragraph Development

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Grammar & Spelling

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Example Specificity

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Task Response

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Coherence & Cohesion

The logical flow between paragraphs is good, and the use of linking words enhances the coherence of the essay.

Introduction & Conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear overview and summarization of your stance.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Conducting sports events such as Olympics or World cup encourage people to live healthy. While some people indicate that there are various other methods to remain healthy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The main aim of advertising is increasing sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that art, such as painting and music, does not improve people’s lives, so the government should not spend money on it. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasises that their products are new in some way. Why is this ? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?