In recent years, the structure of a family and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive and negative?

In the contemporary era, The structure of a family has greatly altered compared to the past.
This
essay
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
discuss 2 main
changes
taking place nowadays and I argue that these are
both
advantages and disadvantages. Currently, the types of
changing
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
show examples
can occur that have fewer
springs
and alter the role of a family. In the beginning, the average size of a family is gradually decreasing from three or four
springs
to two or even one living under the same roof. Because the cost of living becomes more expensive that makes
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
suffer from a high family financial burden, leading to the tendency of borning fewer
springs
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. The different kinds of these
changes
are shared as the primary breadwinner between the spouses. In the past, the wife often did the household,
while
the husband was the primary breadwinner .
However
, These traditions alter when
both
spouses work to earn income together in a home. These trends are
both
positive and negative
changes
as having better education and less spending time from parents. In terms of the advantage, when a family has fewer
springs
than
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, their children would be given better education opportunities. Because the family only concentrates on two or one spring. Thereby,
this
child could have the chance to pursue their own career dream and even gain success.
By contrast
, the
disadvantages
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantage
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
the time problem when parents have to spend overtime
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their work, leading to reduced time with their children.
This
child would want to be attracted to their parents by doing bad
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
or even attending criminal activities which could ruin their future. In conclusion, The changing structure of a family results in two main types which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
the reduced number of children and the responsibility of the spouses. And I believe that these
changes
have
both
benefits and detriments.
Submitted by okookk123456 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Example specificity
Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, citing research studies or statistics can make your claims more convincing.
Language accuracy
Review your essay for typographical and grammatical errors (e.g., 'springs' should be 'offspring', 'borning' should be 'birthing'). Accurate language use supports clearer communication.
Depth of analysis
Explore both sides of the changes mentioned more deeply. While you've outlined advantages and disadvantages, delving into how these changes impact family dynamics or societal structures could enrich your discussion.
Introduction and Conclusion
You have effectively introduced and concluded your essay, properly setting the stage and summarizing your arguments.
Argument Structure
You provided a clear argument structure by discussing the changes in family structure and roles, followed by an evaluation of their positive and negative aspects.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dual-income
  • gender roles
  • single-parent households
  • divorce rates
  • same-sex parents
  • multigenerational
  • family dynamics
  • aging population
  • communication technology
  • child-rearing approaches
  • work-life balance
  • remote working
  • family structure
What to do next:
Look at other essays: