IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

#cities #planners #shops #schools #offices #homes #areas #policy
Architects are planning to build shops, schools, offices and homes in special
places
 separately, in many cities. Basically, building constructions in the same
places
 could not be a good solution, and it might be more stressful and strange for human beings
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because people adapt to travel and see different
places
.
For instance
, tourists come to popular cities to see different buildings and historical
places
, so they are located in
separated
Replace the word
separate
show examples
 areas, and
this
 is more interesting and preferable to choose.
However
, if we imagine that kind of city where all buildings are constructed in different areas,
this
 one
also
 could be useful, because finding somewhere is one of the common
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
, and people
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
so much time to get there. So, if there
would be
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 that kind of utopian place, people would not spend their time to find. In conclusion, constructing buildings in separate areas is considered to be good.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Focus more on directly addressing the question asked, examining both advantages and disadvantages before concluding which outweighs the other.
Task Achievement
Make sure to develop your points more fully, providing specific examples to support your ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on the logical structure of your essay, ensuring ideas flow smoothly from one paragraph to the next, with clear introductions and conclusions for each point.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a range of connecting words to show relationships between ideas more clearly, enhancing the cohesion of your text.
Task Achievement
The essay initiates an attempt to explore the topic, recognising the significance of urban planning.
Coherence & Cohesion
Some effort to construct a logical argument, with an introduction and conclusion provided.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Segregation
  • Urban areas
  • Residential
  • Commercial
  • Industrial
  • Systematic development
  • Amenity provision
  • Urban management
  • Pollution
  • Quality of life
  • Transportation costs
  • Environmental impact
  • Social segregation
  • Amenities
  • Services
  • Income neighborhoods
  • Vibrant
  • Accessible
  • Travel times
  • Social interaction
  • Mixed-use developments
  • Sustainable urban planning
  • Walking
  • Cycling
  • Public transport
  • Urban sprawl
  • Green spaces
  • Agricultural land
  • Biodiversity
  • Business hubs
  • Investments
  • Employment opportunities
  • Economic growth
What to do next:
Look at other essays: