IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with thrir family. Others believe that thid is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
in recent times ,
children
Use synonyms
begin
Wrong verb form
have begun
show examples
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
 a lot of
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 free
time
Use synonyms
 so they should spend it in a perfect
way
Use synonyms
 , there are
argued
Replace the word
arguments
show examples
 that they should spend
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 free
time
Use synonyms
 with
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 family and some people say
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 not important ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree with the first
viewpint
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
 and I will demonstrate that fother .
Body paragraph 1
to begin
Linking Words
 with, free
time
Use synonyms
 could be positive for
children
Use synonyms
 or negative
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 , the parents should show what the perfect
way
Use synonyms
 that
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 kids spend
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 with , spend
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 free
time
Use synonyms
 with
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 families can
had
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 several various pros can affect in
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 behaviour and
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 relationships the
way
Use synonyms
 that change personal skills .
Body paragraph 2
on the other hand
Linking Words
 ,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 unnecessary for
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 free
time
Use synonyms
sitting
Change the verb form
to sit
show examples
 with family the
children
Use synonyms
 can have the ability to do some activities and increase
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 opportunities and
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 capabilities to do
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 work or
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 own Business additions can improve
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
,
for example
Linking Words
 recently kids in
suadi
Correct your spelling
Saudi
Suadi
arabia
Change the capitalization
Arabia
show examples
 spend there free
time
Use synonyms
 playing
badel
Correct your spelling
bagel
badly
 its a game that can improve there exercises skills .
Conclusion
to sum up
Linking Words
 , free
time
Use synonyms
 can change the
children
Use synonyms
 and
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 behaviour if they
siting
Verb problem
sit
show examples
 with
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 families or spend
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
free
time
Use synonyms
 in another
way
Use synonyms
 the
to
Correct your spelling
two
show examples
path
Fix the agreement mistake
paths
show examples
 play a big role in
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
life’s
Change the noun form
lives
life
show examples
.

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Grammar and Accuracy
Make sure to proofread your essay for errors in spelling, grammar, and particularly in word form and usage. For example, instead of 'there', use 'their' when referring to possession and 'they're' for 'they are'. This will greatly improve the clarity of your argument.
Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each body paragraph should develop one main idea, supported by examples or further explanation. This structure helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
Content and Examples
Aim to provide specific examples to support your arguments. While the example of children in Saudi Arabia playing a game to improve their skills is good, adding more detailed examples or evidence would strengthen your argument.
Balance
You presented both sides of the argument, which is good for a balanced discussion.
Conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes your viewpoint, effectively ending your essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • bonding
  • values and traditions
  • sense of security
  • nurturing environment
  • emotional well-being
  • social interactions
  • interpersonal skills
  • over-dependence
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • balance
  • peers
  • comprehensive development
  • confidence
  • collaboration
  • diverse environments
  • cognitive growth
  • emotional growth
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