Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with thrir family. Others believe that thid is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

in recent times ,
children
begin
Wrong verb form
have begun
show examples
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
a lot of
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
free
time
so they should spend it in a perfect
way
, there are
argued
Replace the word
arguments
show examples
that they should spend
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
free
time
with
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
family and some people say
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
not important ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
agree with the first
viewpint
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
and I will demonstrate that fother .
to begin
with, free
time
could be positive for
children
or negative
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
time
, the parents should show what the perfect
way
that
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
kids spend
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
time
with , spend
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
free
time
with
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
families can
had
Change the verb form
have
show examples
several various pros can affect in
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
behaviour and
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
relationships the
way
that change personal skills .
on the other hand
,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
unnecessary for
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
free
time
sitting
Change the verb form
to sit
show examples
with family the
children
can have the ability to do some activities and increase
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
opportunities and
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
capabilities to do
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
work or
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
own Business additions can improve
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
,
for example
recently kids in
suadi
Correct your spelling
Saudi
Suadi
arabia
Change the capitalization
Arabia
show examples
spend there free
time
playing
badel
Correct your spelling
bagel
badly
its a game that can improve there exercises skills .
to sum up
, free
time
can change the
children
and
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
behaviour if they
siting
Verb problem
sit
show examples
with
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
families or spend
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
free
time
in another
way
the
to
Correct your spelling
two
show examples
path
Fix the agreement mistake
paths
show examples
play a big role in
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
life’s
Change the noun form
lives
life
show examples
.
Submitted by abdulelah.gh3 on

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Grammar and Accuracy
Make sure to proofread your essay for errors in spelling, grammar, and particularly in word form and usage. For example, instead of 'there', use 'their' when referring to possession and 'they're' for 'they are'. This will greatly improve the clarity of your argument.
Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each body paragraph should develop one main idea, supported by examples or further explanation. This structure helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
Content and Examples
Aim to provide specific examples to support your arguments. While the example of children in Saudi Arabia playing a game to improve their skills is good, adding more detailed examples or evidence would strengthen your argument.
Balance
You presented both sides of the argument, which is good for a balanced discussion.
Conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes your viewpoint, effectively ending your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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