IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that the user should cover the costs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#cars #increases #money #road #systems #people #government #user #costs
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Number
Change the article
The number
show examples
 of cars
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 rapidly increased which led to spending more on
road
Use synonyms
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 some believe that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should fund these programs.
While
Linking Words
 others argue it should be the individual covering the coasts for
road
Use synonyms
 operations. Even though the latter point has its
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
, I believe
government
Use synonyms
 bodies should spend and care of the
road
Use synonyms
 infrastructures. On the one hand,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 can cumulate
large
Change the article
a large
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of sum to spend
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
roads
Use synonyms
 and transport,
this
Linking Words
 can lead to higher quality in the
roads
Use synonyms
 built and better infrastructure.
one
Capitalize word
One
show examples
 of the biggest advantages if
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 is involved is that everyone no matter the class get the same quality of
Use synonyms
road
Add an article
the road
show examples
. In UAE,
for instance
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 takes care of
roads
Use synonyms
, resulting in residents having the best
road
Use synonyms
 experience.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, individuals cannot raise enough funds to have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
above average road facilities
an above average road facility
show examples
above average
Add a hyphen
above-average
show examples
road
Use synonyms
 facilities.
This
Linking Words
 can
also
Linking Words
 result in selected areas building better
roads
Use synonyms
 compared to the areas that
hosts
Change the verb form
host
show examples
lower income
Add a hyphen
lower-income
show examples
 families.
For example
Linking Words
, in Poland, few areas have better
roads
Use synonyms
 compared to others because of the differences in class of people. in conclusion, it is better if the
government
Use synonyms
 takes care and spends money on
roads
Use synonyms
 for better and equal experience for residents throughout the country. it can
also
Linking Words
 give all the places equal importance and help tourists to have a better experience
through
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
 the country.
Submitted by prakasharjun1998 on

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Task Achievement
Consider expanding on your ideas with more varied and detailed examples to bolster your argument. This depth will enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and incorporating more complex grammatical forms to improve the flow and coherence of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've done a great job structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion. This provides a logical and easy-to-follow argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and restates your opinion, solidifying your stance on the matter.
Task Achievement
Using real-world examples such as UAE and Poland strengthens your argument by demonstrating practical applications of your views.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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